I am back in the apartment and Elvon is in “Sonoma Post-Acute Care”, formerly “Santa Rosa Convalescent”.  He has been there for a week, now.  He still cannot transfer to a wheelchair, without a lift, and is not very responsive in general.  He will be there for at least a month.

His place at the Terraces is now assured.  Someone just gave 30 days notice.  I know the wife.  She lives in here, and will be moving down to Carmel, where they have family.  I think he’s the one who got the place in “The Cottages of Carmel”, while our doctor was taking a holiday after the fire. Life is like that.

I am very happy to be home.  It is so great to be back with our Lodge family.  Everyone is so nice, and we all have fire stories, to liven the conversations, once we have hugged, long and warmly.  The food is better than ever and, if you don’t drive towards 128 to Napa, you don’t see much to depress you.  I have not.  I can’t face it yet.  The apartment looks pretty good, except for a four-inch scratch on our new leather chair, and a couple of missing pillows.

One of these days, I’ll go have a look, but I am not ready for the extreme devastation.  I am still in a type of mourning, moving slowly, feeling down, and making mistakes.  I just managed to lock all three sets of car keys in the trunk of the car.  I had taken the second set with me, just in case.  The third key lives in my wallet.  I was taking some stuff, from my car, to Pat Gustafson’s apartment, on my way out.  When I put the empty bag back in the trunk, I did it without opening the car proper.  That was when I noticed the second red purse there and saw that the second set of keys were in it.   I had just made a mental note to bring that back upstairs, when I came back, when I closed the trunk on the whole shooting match. I am waiting for AAA, now.

And while I am ‘fessing up to dizziness, one sharp reader caught this beaut:

I had dinner at Monterey’s Fish House, where I sat at the bar.  The guy on my right had had an Alzheimer’s mother-in-law, and was very sympathetic.  The gal on my right ordered what I did, and we agreed we should have just ordered one and shared it.

And sent it back with this pithy comment “So…you sat next to a hermaphrodite on your right? Did the guy half order something different?”

I am in the Best Western in Healdsburg.  The drive from Carmel to Santa Rosa was great, the shortest ever for that trip.  Elvon is now in a very nice rehab place for a month or so, and then he will move to Memory Care on our campus.   I move back into our apartment on Monday.  Can’t wait. 

 Things are really looking up.  There’s a lovely little shop on Healdsburg Ave. that has been taking donations and giving free clothing to fire refugees.  I got two outfits, that are really spiffy, including a pair of Amalfi shoes.  Then I went to the “free Store” near the Post Office and got some outfits for Elvon.  Since they are going to cut the left leg open, you wouldn’t want his slacks to be expensive.  Free is a great price.  I also got him a great cotton sweater, one we would have called a “Dale Sheldon Special”, only it is in his colors.  He loves it.  I love that he is interested enough to love it.  He is getting both Physical and Occupational Therapy and I have been reassured that he is getting the first available place at The Terraces, our Memory Care. 

 Last night Pat, Mike and I had dinner at Dry Creek Kitchen, my favorite restaurant in Healdsburg.  They have a wonderful local’s special.  Three beautiful courses for $27.  Best of all, there’s no corkage, if the wine you bring is grown and made in Sonoma.  If you are close to here, come up and have dinner before Thanksgiving.  It’s a great bargain.  If you want to come tomorrow night, I’ll join you.  Sunday night, I’ll be dining in Napa.  Anyone want to join me?

After I published yesterday, I had a meeting with the Discharge Planner, and gave her the list of rehab places in Santa Rosa, that Merissa had given me.  I also gave her my SkyMed and Nationwide information, Travel and Fire Insurance may kick in, after Medicare and AARP.  It looks like we are taken care of, until he can move into The Terraces.

Today, Wednesday, I hear he is free to go, tomorrow or the next day, and has been accepted by the best care place in Santa Rosa.  He’ll be going with Medical Transportation.  He isn’t stable enough to ride with me, if we could even fit him in the car.  It took 4 people to change him around noon, today.  He kicks and hollers, and carries on something fierce.  You wouldn’t want that to start up when you were alone in a car with him, and trying to drive it.  I just hope some insurance or other pays for it.  SkyMed denied it because the care he needs is available here in Carmel.  They didn’t seem to care that it would adversely affect him to be moved multiple times.

So, I am just going to do what’s best for him, and back to Santa Rosa we go.  I expect to be on the road from 10:30 am to 2:00 pm, Pacific Time.  If anyone wants to call me, I’ll have my cell phone on speaker and be more than happy of the diversion.  I should be back in the Lodge on Monday.

Yesterday was a better day, though exhausting.  They reduced the pain medicine and he regained most of his sanity.  He slurs his words something terrible, though, so it takes a lot to understand what he’s thinking.  He associates me with horse racing, and remembers Bill Benter, and how I used to play the horses.  He also remembers a parishioner of his father’s who had a race horse at Santa Anita.  All this comes out all mixed up, and takes a while to sort out.

Kris and Jerry visited for more than an hour, and gave me a little break.  Neither of them could make dinner, though, but they gave me a swell recommendation.  I had dinner at Monterey’s Fish House, where I sat at the bar.  The guy on my right had had an Alzheimer’s mother-in-law, and was very sympathetic.  The gal on my right ordered what I did, and we agreed we should have just ordered one and shared it.  It was absolutely wonderful, East Coast giant scallops in a pernod cream sauce on linguine.  I took 2/3 of it home to the Scalberg house.

Late yesterday afternoon, the CHOMP portal yielded a doctor’s report which said, in part, “ the above described nondisplaced lateral femoral condyle fracture. Given this patient’s other challenges, and his declining mental status, I do not see a need for operative intervention at the present time”

I sent it to our nurse with this note: “This likely means the bone will knit such that the knee will never bend again.  I am not sure this is a good idea.  I am also not sure an operation is a good idea, but it might be short term pain for long term improvement.”

She wrote back that it was too dangerous for his brain, and that we had better just bring him back to Santa Rosa for rehabilitation.  We should be able to move him into The Terraces after a stay in a skilled nursing place in Santa Rosa.  I understand that’s the best course of action. I can then move back into the Lodge on the 13^th, be near him, and at home.  He’ll be in the hospital for another day or two, anyway.

It’s not as good as it looks.  Elvon doesn’t know what hit him, where he is, or even who I am.  He is terrified by everything and screams bloody murder when the staff come near him.  They do, you know.  They also take him for radiology, and he hollers, and I cringe and feel terrible.  He cannot understand what happened, or even acknowledge that he hears you.

Susan drove down yesterday, and provided more support to me, than she could to him.  We all try, the staff are great, but we are not getting through to him.  It’s very hard to watch.   

We are definitely not getting any respite.   But he just woke up for a bit, and did know who I am.  So things might be improving. 

Well, the doc came back, last night, to report that Elvon has a minor fracture of the left distal femur.  That’s the big bone on its way into the knee from above.  It does not require surgery, and it’s his bad leg.  They just immobilized it, with a brace.  He hollered bloody murder.  The good news is that it will take a couple-three days to regulate his pain-killers and that will make his move to Carmel Hills Care Center, a shoe-in. 

Well, that has always been our objective, but what a way to achieve it!

 It will also make it a Medicare matter, which will be easier on our finances.  About time we caught a break.  I hear you groan, but I couldn’t resist it.  If I don’t get a laugh once in a while, I’ll cry.  The break isn’t much, but Elvon doesn’t react well to the hospital environment.  He never has, but now he doesn’t understand why he is here, isn’t sure where he is, and is afraid of, well, everything.   

 You should see this hospital.  It’s much like a resort.  I am most impressed and find it a nice quiet place to spend a few hours.  As long as the medical personnel stay out of the room, it’s calm and serene, unless he has a bad dream.  The cafeteria is good.  There’s a Meditation Room, and lovely gardens.  I’ll have to ask if they have a gym for visitors.  I wouldn’t be surprised.   

To answer the comments that last post garnered.  Yes, there is Memory Care where we live at Fountaingrove Lodge.  It is in a separate building, two minutes walk away, called “The Terraces”.  Elvon has been Number One on its list for over a month, now.  All it will take is for one person not to come back, and he is in.  I expect that will be the case.

Transfers aren’t just difficult.  They range from easy to impossible, to a fight.  He never got out of bed Saturday or Sunday, until Susan arrived to tempt him out.  He is starting to get testy, too.  That’s new, and none too pleasant.  In the care center, he will get the therapy he needs, have a recumbent bike to ride, etc.

We will never be very far from each other.  We will be 10 minutes away, by car, while we are biding our time in Carmel, waiting for Fountaingrove Lodge and the Terraces to re-open.  That should be by February 15.  Then I will move back into our apartment at Fountaingrove Lodge, and Elvon will move into The Terraces, if there is room.  It was full, but, hopefully, someone won’t move back.

We still don’t have the OK to come from Carmel Hills Care Center.  I thought all but all our paperwork was in.  But now they want one more form filled out and our doctor is getting balky.  This needs to happen, as transfers are less and less successful.  Susan’s presence was initially magic.  He popped up for her and we had a lovely rack of lamb dinner.  He even came up with a good bit of conversation.

Monday, nobody could get him to move.  We got one transfer to the chair, but he wouldn’t go anywhere from there.  I interrupted writing this to try to get him to get up for dinner.  Susan was cooking and Kris, his niece, was here, too.  I promised wine, and young women.  No go. They bought him a commode this afternoon.  It was lovely to have the help.

An hour and a half-hour later, Elvon managed to get up for dinner.  Between dinner and dessert, I remembered we had put Sylly P in the bathroom, to get Elvon out the door, because  we were afraid Sylly P would scoot out, and there’s another cat, here.  The bloody bathroom door was locked, and on close examination of the other bathroom doors, we figured out that the cat could easily have locked herself in, in an attempt to get out.

Two hours later, four members of the younger generation had succeeded in breaking in ti the bathroom, and I had the kitchen cleaned up.  It was a good thing, as my research on 24-hour locksmiths had gone south. I disturbed the little crowd around the bathroom door to get Elvon to bed.  And, oh joy, while e was transferring, I heard the sound of a dead bolt moving.  Sylly P was free, and we all had ice cream!

Tuesday morning, I got good news from Carmel Hills Care Center and went out to play with Candy.  Elvon was cleared to move to respite care, tomorrow or the next day.  The Lodge’s Memory care re-opens November 9, if the state approves, and the Lodge itself, on the 13th.  All we needed was official doctor’s orders and they had sent the form to our doc.

Well!  Our doctor decided to have a hissy fit, because it was the fourth time he had been asked for paperwork for Elvon.  He refused to do it.  (!?!)  If he had not taken the week off just after the fire, Elvon would have been admitted to the first place to which they sent paperwork. By the time the doc got in, that place had given its last memory care/skilled nursing bed to another fire evacuee.  That started the massive search, with daughter, Susan, Oakmont personnel, and good friends, Pat and Jo Gibbons, helping me call places all over California, from Carmel to Santa Rosa.  We thought we were all set, but, as of last night, it was by no means sure that he would get the paperwork in for another week, or more.

But, the promise of a glass of wine and a nice dinner tempted him into transferring to his wheelchair again, last night.  We had tortilla chips and pico de gallo, with a glass of wine, and followed it with my Rice Krispie chicken, ridiculously rich mashed potatoes, and sugar snap peas.  For dessert, we had Talenti gelato, and Trader Joe’s Lacey cookies.  It was all delicious, and we went to bed content.

I was awakened at around 12:15am, by a thump and a cry.  He, who has been afraid to transfer to a wheelchair, had got up, used the commode for a walker, and made it in and out of the bathroom, using the floor as the commode. He almost made it back to bed, but he fell.  I knew I could never get him up, so I called 911.   The fire department came, and got him back on to the bed.  He seemed fine, except  for a lithe tear on his left knee.  The firefighters stayed with me, while I got out peroxide, antibiotic and a band-aid.  I thanked them profusely, and Elvon went back to sleep.  I had some clean-up to do, and needed another hour to read myself down, when it was over.  I turned my light off around 3:00 am.

I got up around nine, and checked in with Carmel Hills Care Center.  I was hoping there was a way to bypass his recalcitrant primary care physician.  They were very sympathetic, but, alas, not.  No other doctor will do.  I called the office manager at the doctor’s office back, and she had better news.  The doc had had a change of heart.  He may have deduced he was the problem.  He had such a full schedule today, that he was canceling patients, but she promised me it would be done Friday, which is tomorrow.

I felt better after that, and it was time for breakfast.  When I was taking last night’s sock off of Elvon’s foot, he cried out in pain.  That just about never happens, so I took a look at his leg.  His left knee, which has been withered since he had polio as a kid, was twice the size of the good one.

So, here I am in CHOMP, Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula, and Elvon is off having a CT Scan and a bunch of X-Rays.  It looks like we are a shoe-in for the Rehab center now.  “tis an ill wind.

We had a treat Friday night, at our friends’ house in Carmel.  Pat and Mike came to visit us, and they brought Chinese Food from Tommy’s Wok, the only decent Chinese food for miles, according to the Scalbergs.  We believe them, because we met them when the four of us were working in Hong Kong 25 years ago.  We didn’t have a waiter, so one of us had to be the photographer.  All the pictures came out blurry, this is the best of the lot.

I think we have found respite care, for Elvon.  I sent over his medical workup, and will finalize Monday, if both parties want to.  They need to approve based on what the doctor wrote, and I need to drop by there, sniff around, and get the feel of the care home.  It’s in Monterey.

After I wrote that, I went over to look at Carmel Hills Care Center.  It had some iffy ratings online and I wanted to give it the smell test.  It’s bright and cheerful, and spotlessly clean.  A very nice gal, named Donne, took me around.  It was lunch time, and a lot of the residents were gathered in the dining room.  The smell was of food, nothing as appetizing as the Lodge, of course, but Donne showed me the menu for the week, and it looked good.  She also shared that they had a new Executive Director, and there had been a huge improvement in the meals.  Now they use fresh meat and cook on site.  They used to use mostly canned stuff.  No wonder there were some iffy ratings.  They have a gym, with a recumbent bicycle, which Elvon really needs, and physical therapists on staff.  He needs all of this, and I need a break.  Come Monday morning, I’ll be negotiating him in.

Saturday’s news from the Residents’ Council contained this cheery sentence.  “Yesterday the Santa Rosa Fire Department completed its inspection of FGL and The Terraces and cleared them for occupancy.”  I like that.  It may still be up to a couple of weeks, but we are going home.  Sadly, I don’t think we will be living together any more.  It breaks my heart, but everyone is telling me I have to do it to save myself, and, I get it.

I have something to look forward to, today.  Elvon’s daughter Susan is driving down here for dinner, and will stay the night, to be here to support us, as we go through the separation process.  I feel better sharing that burden.  Thanks, love.  I know Cat and Matt want to be here, too, but she’s on the other side of the country, and supports me by phone.  It’s a tough time.

Our good FGL friends, Mike and Cliff have been back to the site and reported:

For those who have not been up to Fountaingrove since the fire, prepare to be shocked.  It really looks like the pictures of war zones in Syria, except the streets are impeccably clean – not sure if they had street sweepers or if it was just the wind at the time of the fire.  Last weekend, they made people with passes exit to the east.  So we had to drive all the way through all the destruction.  The pictures on TV do not do it justice.  It just seems to go on forever.  On the other hand, it is almost surreal when you come up to FGL/Stonefield on Bicentennial because you see almost nothing until you get almost to FGL.  Then there is the burned meadow across Thomas Lake Harris Drive and the burned down Oaks Condominiums to the north of FGL.  But they are so flattened that if you did not know they had been there, you might not even notice that there is nothing there.  Travelling on around Thomas Lake Harris Drive, reveals that there is very little left – just a single house here or there.  But mostly everything is gone.

We will know on Monday, when we can move back in, and it looks like it won’t be more than a couple of weeks.  All would be well except that Elvon has been in a steady decline, since we left.  I am getting home help, and the Physical Therapist, who was here yesterday, agrees with me that there is no reason why he cannot transfer to a walker or a chair.  But, he won’t. When presented with the option, he shakes something terrible, and refuses to budge.  No one will take him except a full on memory care place, and I am desperately trying to find one, that will only charge me an arm and a leg, and not both of them.

I wrote that yesterday.  Last night he transferred nicely, had dinner at the table and transferred back into bed.  In the middle of the night he got up, transferred nicely to the chair and the toilet, and that solved a problem that had been bothering me for three days.

Our wonderful friends, Pat and Jo Gibbons, did some phone work, and I think they have turned up a place, nearby.  I need to get out and have a look at it, but meanwhile, I sent them the Doctor’s work up, to get him approved.  If he continues well, it might be better to keep him here, until the Lodge re-opens, so as not to disturb him too much.  These are more familiar surroundings.  Candy and Ernie, bless their hearts, are okay with that, despite having other house guests arriving.  We love our fabulous friends.

And, we’ll wait until Monday, when FGL lets us know our re-entry date and make the decision, then.

I bought the Scalbergs’ cat, Tony, a present.  It’s a rubber grooming tool for short-haired cats.  He loves it.  He purred and purred last night, and I got a good bit of hair out of him.  It came on a card, with raised plastic cover, held on with just a staple.  So I didn’t have to destroy the packaging to get the tool out.  The packaging came in handy a half-hour later when I found this darling little lizard in the family room.

I emptied him out into the garden, and did not throw away this packaging.

We are finally getting a bit of help.  It is from from VNA (Visiting Nurses) now.  The admitting one was just here.  She will get him some PT and try to find us a nearby memory care place.  A social worker should call me soon.  I will accept any place here, or up in Marin or  Sonoma Counties.  Even the City would do.  I’ll make that clear when the social worker calls.    The PT called and will visit Elvon tomorrow at one.  Hopefully he or she will be able to teach him how to transfer and that he will remember.  I am having no luck in that regard.

Robert May, our Executive Director, just wrote us that he is hoping that residents of FGL and The Terraces will be permitted to move back in some time during the second week of November (November 5-11).  As indicated in the message from OSL that was emailed to some residents, on Monday, October 30, they expect to announce a definitive move-in date