I have been meaning to mention this.  You might be enjoying my narrative, but if you want a bunch of beautiful pictures of where we are, follow Captain Jonathan Mercer’s blog by going to  www.captainjonathan.com  and signing up.  He’s very good and an easy read, in every way my favorite captain, on any line.  He’s also a lot more up-to-date.  This segment begins to explain why.

And, here’s a bit of news.  I have my next assignment.  It’s ‘round the British Isles on August 6.  We like that gig, because it gives us an opportunity to see plays in London and friends in Dublin, and we’ll have our Montreal time, on the way in.  Who wants to come with us?  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.

The last thing I did on the computer, before shutting it down on February 2, was to load on Michael Innis’ photos from the wine tour, and my own, onto my computer.  Then I cleared off my camera, which was a mistake, and left the computer in hibernation, unplugged, I was that tired.  This morning, after I plugged it in and waited a while, Windows reported that it was trying to recover and did I want to start it normally.  You bet I did, but it was in a loop.  No matter what choice I made, it kept wanting to recover from the recovery partition, which would restore factory defaults.  The only upside was that I would be able to repartition the computer to one partition and make use of all the space on the hard drive.  It had arrived with three-quarters drive D and only one quarter, drive C.  Since C is where all the programs run, and they outweigh the data probably three to one, it’s nonsense.

As the computer was almost three years old, and we were at sea, that was an unpleasant solution.  It warned me that it would lose all files.  Luckily my backup was only a couple of days before, but still.  I took it to Nicola, the IT Manager, to see if he had a better idea, or to have a shoulder to cry on when I bit the bullet.  I called Michael Holt, too, and the three of us mourned, as it turned the clock back.  We are still pretty much in the middle of nowhere, and our next stop is Picton, New Zealand, not a major metropolis.  I figured out a game plan and Michael volunteered to help me rebuild the system in Picton.  Then I went to the gym with Elvon.  There was no more I could do.  Losing your computer is almost worse than getting sick yourself.  It is certainly more depressing.

That night we had the Le Cirque Dinner in the Pinnacle, with our regular table mates.  I made it through dinner and was somewhat cheered up by the entertainment, Ashley Carruthers, fun on a piano.  But it was a sad puppy that went to bed.

The next day we docked in Picton, NZ, which turned out to be a tiny little town.  There wasn’t enough WiFi anywhere for a ship load of people.  You should have seen the crowd in the library.  Bars and restaurants were no better.  We bought a couple of US to Oz plug adapters and a day-room in the best hotel in town for $100NZ, about $70 to me.  That was a lot of fun, I must have looked like an old cougar.  Michael is half my age and very buff.

The day room offered peace to work and a comfortable setting, but even there, the Internet wasn’t much.  The town gets it off a satellite, same as the ship.  But we had two computers to download software on, and soon had Microsoft Office up and running, and the most basic Windows updates applied.  While PhotoShop was taking forever to download, we worked on changing my email client to Outlook, because I take a lot of abuse for still using the AOL Desktop.  So we had AOL forward to gmail and set up Outlook to go to gmail.  When we left it was still transferring 6 years of emails to the gmail server and it started in 2011.  Then they have to come in to Outlook, which died trying to load them in, because of the lousy Internet.

I wouldn’t recommend that to anyone who wasn’t doing it overnight in the privacy of his or her own home.  I wouldn’t plan on taking the computer out in the morning, either.  Outlook was downloading every message I had left on the AOL server since 2011.  I am lucky it wasn’t longer.  I have been on AOL since 1995.  I went back to the AOL Desktop in a hurry and haven’t dared open Outlook since, never mind gmail.

That was an adventure, too.  The new version of AOL Desktop is missing my favorite function “Run Automatic AOL”, which is Send/Receive in Outlook, and enables me to work offline all day and just take ten minutes of expensive ship’s Internet, once a day.  Luckily, that night I met Jan Yetke and whined about it.  She said she had never used “Run Automatic AOL”.  You just drag and drop from your IN basket to any file in “Saved on my computer”, and I have been doing that ever since, with great success.  Thanks, Jan.

With all of that, I never had time to load Norton on, nor finish the Windows updates, so there was another marathon shore session on the horizon, but, at least I could work. I was a little happier that night and really enjoyed Lee Bayless, the comedian who teaches you how to do comedy.

I had a lot to do, on February 5, bringing my manifest up to date from a paper copy, and recovering or re-writing various other bits that had been lost.  I got a copy of Michael’s wine tour photos from the stick I had yet to return, but mine are lost forever.  When I was back in a position to work, I started on a newsletter, as we had plans for Sydney and it was coming up.  I took myself out of the HOHO Bus plan for Melbourne, as I had a computer to rehabilitate.  I knew where I was going, too, The Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron.  That should give me good, fast Internet, without having to compete with the rest of the ship.

Luckily the desk was fairly quiet.  Our captain’s dinner in the Pinnacle was at 6:30 pm, so it was a short day, but I was glad of it.  We went to bed early, skipping the entertainment, rather than waiting an hour for it.  The Captain’s Dinner was delicious.

Still at sea on February 6, the desk was busier, as I worked through the process of completing the newsletter.  I got the letters printed and delivered and used the Future Cruise Consultants to help me with an order from one of my own clients.  It was a Saturday, so we went to Happy Hour in the Crow’s Nest with seven other people.  The evening’s entertainment was a production show: Mundo Latino.

Still at sea on February 7, I had a day to start catching up.  I worked my own travel business, which finally contains a few HAL bookings, so I can talk to the Future Cruise Consultants (FCCs) and make bookings with only $100 down because I am on board.  A few people dropped by the desk to talk about Melbourne and Sydney and sign up for my dinners.

I finalized Sydney arrangements with Debbie Amos and Sue Jamieson from HK, who was in Sydney over Chinese New Year, PhotoShopped some pictures, and wrote some words, not nearly enough.  The show was excellent:  the Australian Tenors.  Not Pavarotti and Placido, but good enough.

On February 8, 2016, we docked in Melbourne, Australia.  I still had a lot of software to load onto the computer and a lot of Windows updates to take.  I needed good WiFi and a nice quiet place to work.  I settled on the Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron.  The helpful people at the pier told me it was a 15 to 20 minute walk.  After 15 minutes, what I thought was it, was still in the distance.  I found a taxi.  That was a very good thing, because it was a lot farther along the water.  It was also closed, but the office was open and the staff was friendly.  I ended up with the chart room, all to myself.

I unpacked the computer and set it up.  Then I started looking for an outlet, as I would surely need power for all I had to do.  I spotted a tangle of wires across the room and took off in that direction.  The power cord was hanging over the side of the table and I got caught in it, sending the power supply to the floor.  I have probably done this a hundred times before, but this one was the one.  Once I got it in, the power light didn’t come on.  This is not good, but a little wigging and a piece of scotch tape got me back in business for the afternoon.  I downloaded and installed Norton, took a ton of Windows updates, and dealt with the day’s email.  I installed PhotoShop and Cute PDF writer, and a couple of other useful bits.

My work environment was top notch.  It was quiet, steeped in history, and beautiful, if a little funky.  I wished I could have stayed until after five o’clock, when the bar would open, but I had to get back to the ship.  My taxi pulled in just behind the chefs’.  They filled six luggage carts, with purchases of new dishes and décor for the events that would commence when the big bosses board in Sydney.

 

 

It has been a while.  You’ll find out why in the next episode.  For now, I hope you are as grateful for this one as I am.  You probably aren’t, but you’ll find out about that in the next episode, too.

On January 26, while Elvon and I were having breakfast, the ship was trying to find an amenable place to anchor at Roratonga. I had planned to steal from the Captain’s blog for this, but, once I saw it, I figured mine would be juicier.  My favorite captain has yet to manage to land anyone here, and he has had five or six shots at it over the years.  This island has high seas, nasty shoals, changeable winds, the works.  The first place we tried was way too exposed, and it was all the crew could do to get the tenders into the water.  They couldn’t find an angle where it would be safe to board and carry passengers, never mind land them on shore.

So, like Mother Duck and her ducklings, we went around the headland, hoping it was better on the other side.  It was, and about 600 people managed to get ashore, before tender number 9 was blown on to a reef.  The captain doesn’t talk about this in his blog.  He did, however, do the right thing by the passengers on said tender.  There was no real danger, you could wade to the thing, but people take expensive camera and computer equipment, wear the wrong shoes, aren’t as fit as they should be, or are just plain old.  The rescue squad, which waded out, consisted of the Captain, his wife, the Hotel Manager, his wife the Guest Relations Manager, the Culinary Operations Manager, who got a terrible sunburn, the Cruise Director, Events Manager, Housekeeping Manager, Food and Beverage Manager, Cellarmaster, etc.  They helped some wade to shore, took some in little boats, and brought water and sandwiches to those who had to, or elected to, stay aboard.  It took a good few hours, but they managed to tow it off the reef and back to the ship, sans one propeller, and with numerous holes in the, luckily double, hull.  The affected passengers got a good whack of ship-board credit, champagne, etc.  We hope the handicapped ones who saw the whole thing now understand why the ship doesn’t want them on tenders.   Elvon hasn’t got on one in years.  He says he likes he likes his life too much to ruin it by breaking something.

The entertainment was Bobby Brooks Wilson, a repeater from last year, but a very good one.  He does a lot of songs from the fifties, made famous by Elvis and Frank, and, of course, his own father, Jackie Wilson.

Back at sea on January 27, I was still reading “Taming the Screwcap”, in preparation for my talk on wine in three days.  On this day, I was learning about the role of SO₂, reduction and the role of padding in the screw cap.  At the desk, I answered questions about how much wine we would be able to bring back to the ship, and how much of it we could bring to the dining room.  We are getting very relaxed rules, especially yours truly.  Now I will have quite a bit of good, cheap wine to serve at DV dinners.  I gave 13 certainly unused Auckland Wine Tour tickets to Jacques, for his wine stewards and the names of the passengers who were interested on Bridge Tours to Jennifer.  I PhotoShopped a bunch of pictures and talked to whomever came, oe of whom had been on tender number 9.

Happy Hours are back in the Crow’s Nest from 6 to 7, so I planned to start up again, too, not every day, as we spent too many days up there alone last year.  I analyzed the calendar, trying to find the day of the week with the most sea days.  It turned out to be Saturday.  So we will have T.H.I.S. Happy Hour.  ‘Too Happy It’s Saturday’.

I tried to get Elvon to wear a $240 white silk shirt to dinner.  It’s a Nat Nast, much like a Tommy Bahama, only twice the price, and just beautiful.  He wouldn’t wear it.  He wanted something green.  Paul Kerr, Culinary Operations Manager, and his wife, Sharon, from the front desk, were coming to dinner.  Paul has the same hairline as Elvon, and his pate was bright pink, along with his face, arms, etc., thanks to yesterday’s operations with tender number 9.  Sharon is quiet but was sporting fabulous jewelry, lent to her by the shop for such occasions, and Paul is very lively.  It was a lot of fun.  The entertainment was “Made in England”, an Elton John Tribute from our own production cast.

January 28, we crossed the dateline and the day did not exist for us.  January 29, was a sea day, and a busy one at the desk.  I had a letter to get out, a talk to finish preparing and emails for assorted appointments in Hong Kong.   I finished the letter, and got it delivered by 7:15pm, in time to shower and dress for dinner.  The entertainment was ‘La Musica”, Adam and Lisa, a British couple.   They are very good.  The music is light classical.

Of course, January 30, was a sea day, too.  I stayed in my cabin until just before office hours, rehearsing my talk.  The desk was extra busy and I left it as soon as I could to go through my talk one more time before it was time to give it.  It was well and went well.  I charged $10, for which they got all the wine they could drink and a Wine Tasting Guide worth at least $5, $10 if you buy one online or in a winery.  Our Bar Attendant, Princess Leah, served wines from my Admiral’s package, on which she would not be tipped, so I gave her $10.

It happened to be the first T.H.I.S. Happy Hour, so up we went to the Crow’s Nest and had a fine time with Dan Samaniego and the Westcotts.  Then we had a lovely dinner at the Petersen’s table, enjoyed Bobbie Brooks Wilson one more time, and went to bed.  It had been a big day.

Believe it or not, we were still at sea on January 31, so I went to the desk again. One lady came by to say she had become a boat widow.  Her husband has entered the “Build your own boat” contest and it is consuming him.  I lent her whatever glue I had and promised to get him some supporters on the day of the judging. I saw another six or eight people, and took Elvon to the gym.  I got some logging done and we went to dinner and a show.  It was Simeon Wood, who played assorted wind instruments.  Is he the Wood in the Wind?

Our DV Wine Tour day was on February 2, in Auckland.  We got off to a bit of a late start, when I missed counting one passenger on the bus, and called her name out three times to no response.  15 minutes of searching ensued, and when we called a halt to it and I got back on the bus, there she was.  That’s the stuff that drives you crazy.

We never saw the other bus load of people, as each winery could only handle one bus load of us.  The closest we came was passing on the road when we switched.  One winery, Soljans, took us into the vineyards, and through the winery, cellar and bottling line.  Their tasting wasn’t much, and neither were the wines, but they had a nice gift shop.

The other winery, Matua, had a wonderful tasting, with about six different New Zealand cheeses.  They insisted you take a sip, a bite of cheese, and another sip.  It really did make a difference in the flavor of the wine, and the cheeses were delicious.  One guy bought a bunch of them and had a party in his cabin, the day after, to which we were lucky enough to be invited.  I digress.

A few people got off in town to eat.  I had to take the bus all the way back, but the driver was kind enough to drive three of us back to the Auckland Fish Market, where we had some of the best fish and chips, ever, and a nice bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, Villa Maria, Jacques, the cellar master’s favorite.

We hoofed it back to the ship at speed and made it with five minutes to spare.  Sailaway was particularly nice, so nice that we just finished off with a bowl of pasta, from the Lido, and went to bed.

 

 

I have been meaning to mention this.  You might be enjoying my narrative, but if you want a bunch of beautiful pictures of where we are, follow Captain Jonathan Mercer’s blog by going to  www.captainjonathan.com and signing up.  He’s very good and an easy read, in every way my favorite captain, on any line.

 

January 19, before Office hours, I saw Rebecca from Shore Excursions.  She gave me the scoop on accessibility fro our tours and, tickets for all three tours in pink envelopes, ready for distribution.  I worked the usual office hours, took Elvon to the gym, did a little more paperwork, walked the deck and went to dinner, where Nicola, the Communications Officer, was our table guest, and we found him delightful.  He is really enjoying his job and the fact that it gives him a chance to see the world and meet all kinds of people.  He’s from Serbia, and plans to go back in a few years and start a software company with a couple of friends.  The others may be already working on it.  He is accumulating a little seed money, which you can, when you work at sea, fed and housed.  We wish him well and will surely have him back to the table.  The entertainment was Robbie Howard, straight from Vegas.  He managed to sound like every other Vegas entertainer we knew, except maybe Celine Dion.

 

On January 20, we were in Taiohae, Nuku Hiva, French Polynesia.  I had been here before, and had a plan.  After an enormous breakfast in the Lido, I went to the gym with Elvon, and got off the ship around eleven, starved for Internet.  So much for my resolve; it’s both a necessity and an addiction.  The restaurant I used last year was closed, but the next one was open, with twice as many customers.  I bought the obligatory Coke, and set to work.  Well, it was cheap, but not even as good as the ship’s, with all the traffic on it.  I am persistent, though.  It took me three hours to give up.  As I was leaving I heard there was a good, but expensive source right across from the tender pier.  It’s “Tiki Net” and they want $2.50 for 15 minutes, but they let you plug your computer in, which it would need soon, and it was nice and fast.  I considered it ten bucks well spent.  In a couple of days, we’ll be on Rangiroa, where the Shipleys and I accessed the Internet from plastic chairs by the sea, on the 2013 Grand Asia.

 

I got back to the ship, and took Elvon to Sailaway, which was beautiful.  The entertainment was Pete Neighbor, Jazz Clarinet.  Nice.

 

At  sea, on January 21, bright and early, I sat down with Tina to finalize our lists and get more Pinnacle dates, as I had a newsletter to write.  I wrote it during and after office hours.  One of my cruisers came to tell me her ukulele group would be performing at 4:00pm in the Crow’s Nest, so I duly appeared there.  By 4:30pm, I had had enough of the Polynesian team and none of our passengers, so I went back to work on my letter.

 

I had some help.  My bus monitor, Bridge Instructor Gail Hanson, who had been a court stenographer, proofread for me and an engineer passenger helped me figure out what had gone wrong with my Excel spreadsheet.  During all of this, I had been re-filling our dinner table.  Four of our tablemates were dining in Canaletto, the night I had Rebecca Antuna, from Shore Excursions, come to the table.  I filled it with four of my people.  We all had a wonderful time, including Rebecca.

 

The entertainment was the Jack Pack, who were repetitious, within the same cruise; still easy on the eyes, but they need to learn more songs.

 

On January 22, we were tendered off Rangiroa, French Polynesia.  Oceania Marina was at this tiny Island, too.  I had not been able to find Didier’s email and we tendered to a different pier than in 2013.  I had no idea how far it was from his house, but I knew I needed a plan that had nothing to do with any place where the other 2,000 people might be.

 

First, I want for a walk, and watched the local dogs chase the local chickens.  They are all food, here.  It was a beautiful day, if a little hot, and there’s a paved road that follows the beach, with just one house between road and beach all around.  I found a house with a big dish, but the occupants said it was just for television.

 

When I had walked my quota for the day, I cleared my throat in French, and started looking in earnest.  The third place I tried took me in.  I got the password off the router itself, and they brought me a chair and a glass of water.  I had wonderful contact with the outside world for about an hour and a half.  I was with the family in a breezeway, which consisted of one outside wall, a cement floor and a roof, with an ocean view.  It was the coolest part of the house, which was why everyone was there, and to make it cooler, they brought out a fan.  When I had to go back to the ship, they didn’t want to take any money, but I left ten bucks under the router, which had done yeoman service, compared to the wimp on the ship.

 

My hosts turned out to be the Harrys family.  So here’s a picture of our relatives in French Polynesia:

Sailaway was just beautiful.  Rangiroa is an atoll, a circular mass of coral, with a lagoon in the centre.  There is a hole dredged through the coral for ships to get in and out.  There were two of us going out at about the same time.  We left first, with Oceania Marina following closely.  You would think I would have fabulous pictures, from our stern, of her “shooting the hole”, but, alas, the sun was such that I couldn’t see what I was taking so I pointed and I shot, and I wasn’t so lucky.

 

Showtime was a repeat performance for Sarah Chandler and Robbie Howard, and it was good enough.  We love having live entertainment every night after dinner and taking an elevator one deck home.

 

On January 23, we docked in Papeete, Tahiti, French Polynesia.  We were going to be here Papeete until 5:00am, and I have been many times before, so Elvon and I had a leisurely breakfast and an hour in the gym, and I did some work, before going out around two.  The market was closed, so no flowers for my desk, but I did get good Internet at the yoghurt shop I used last year.

 

Ten of us went out to the food trucks on the pier.  After we walked around for a while with no real consensus, nor table space for a large group, we split into twos and fours.  It was a magic night, and the food was great.  Our group had raw tuna and barbequed baby calf, with French fries.  Then we moved on to another truck for crepes.  We waddled back to the ship.  I later learned that we should have waddled past the truck to where local artists were doing very interesting things.

 

The entertainment we missed was Tahiti Ora, an excellent troupe, all drumming and shaking their grass skirts.  Elvon liked it, for the third or fourth time.  The ships male officers had a party in the Pinnacle for Dolly, who marked 4000 actual days aboard.

 

In Moorea, French Polynesia, the next day, I left Elvon pedaling in the gym and got off at ten, with Stan and Marilyn.  We were going to the Hilton , for beach time, lunch and Internet.  We got all three and a great taxi driver to boot.  Not cheap, mind you.  The Hilton wanted $90 for its day pass.  It was, however, cheaper and better than the ships excursion, which included a night in the hotel.  We’re told that was a lot of fun, but they were leaving the Hilton at 11:00 m, as we were arriving.  One could mimic this excursion with a ferry ride from Papeete, two taxis and a hotel room.  I would, if the hotel had easy access for Elvon.  It does not.

 

The Hilton’s lunch was delicious, though.  I had more raw tuna.  This is the place to eat it.  Elizabeth, our taxi driver, was right on time to take us back.  Of course she was.  She’s Swiss.  Her parents moved to Moorea, 85 years ago.  She was born and educated on the island and she’s a tough old bird.  She was a great source of factoids, though, and sharp as a tack at 78.

 

Dolly was still glowing, and wearing her sparkly commemorative tee shirt, when we got to dinner.  She detained us long enough to make us late to table and our stewards mad.  The entertainment was Bayng Bacon, a repeat, but still fun, comedy, piano, vocals, the works.  “She got the gold mine, and I got the shaft.”

 

Finally, at sea, on January 25, I started preparing for my wine talk.  It’s the same talk every year, with the addition of whatever monograph the International Wine & Food Society sends me.  This year it’s “Taming the Screwcap”, which I expect to be very interesting.

 

I took Elvon to the finals of “Crew Chopped” where Gene, the Cruise Director and Pieter, the Executive Chef, were battling it out against Mark, the Events Manager, and Paul, the Culinary Operations Manager.  That promised to be hilarious.

 

Then I went to my desk to handle the usual and talk needlepoint with Al Vence and Linda Linthicum.  Well, just Linda, really, but you almost never see these two lovebirds apart.  I love it.  Now I have an order for a better needlepoint kit, a book on stitches and a Swiss Army pocket knife.

 

It was a DV Lunch day in the Dining Room, so I collected Elvon from his culinary event and off we went.  At 2:00 pm, we went to the Culinary Arts Centre, where Jacques, the Cellarmaster, was giving a talk called “Wine About It”.  I think he stole said title from yours truly, who calls hers, “Wine with Helen.”  He dispensed useful factoids, like, the best price-performing wine in the supermarket is on the top or bottom shelf.  They are trying to get rid of the stuff at eye level.  Jacques has no input on the wines served on board, except for on a World Cruise, when he can buy wine in wine producing ports.  His favorite is Villa Maria sauvignon blanc, which is from New Zealand.  If you ever get to Cape Town, taste the wines of St-Constance, Franchode, rather than Stellenbosch.

 

I went back to my desk to clear my email and Donna Kasprick stopped by to share a dive photo of herself in the cockpit of a WWII bomber under the sea.  Dee Westcott took it and printed it for her.  These two have become dive buddies.  It took 40 minutes to download my email, and prompted me to write to one sender to please only put small pictures in emails.  His had taken 20 of said 40 minutes.  It can be tough out here.

 

Rebecca had given me all the tickets in bright pink envelopes, by cabin.  I had to remove the ones that were not being used, before I delivered them.  I needed the Auckland Wine Tour ones for the wine stewards.  That done, I made the deliveries and got back to my cabin at 7:15 pm, just in time to change for dinner.

 

I ordered the California Sauvignon Blanc, from our Navigator’s package, that night.  It was Greystone, 2012.  The color, smell and taste were off.  I figured it was corked.  So, I asked Romeo, our wine steward, to show me the cork.  It was synthetic.  I figured that meant it couldn’t be corked.  Romeo said it was just old.  2012 is not that old.  Our education is just beginning Stay tuned, as I prepare for and deliver my wine talk in the next episode.’’  Anyway, Romeo replaced it with Nobilo, a perfectly acceptable New Zealand sauvignon, from the Admiral’s package, as if it were from the Navigator package, so we were happy.

 

The entertainment was “Strings Alive,” a violin and a guitar, and they were excellent.

 

 

January 12 was the first of eight days at sea, during which I planned to get my act together and catch up. I started by photoshopping the cocktail party pictures. People are coming by with sign ups and observations, and I am tee’ing up dinners, talks and so on.

 

I feared I might have picked up a virus at the shopping mall in Panama, as Norton was acting up. Christel directed me to Nikola, the Communications Officer. He proved to be a good sounding board and assured me that it was likely just a bad download, and it would fix itself, once I got to decent Internet. The computer is running fine, so he is likely right.

 

I had plenty of material for a new letter, with more dates and times, so I got busy on that. I’ll finish and distribute it tomorrow. Kermit Apio, a 48-year old comedian, was the entertainment. He was only moderately funny. Maybe it’s generational.

 

The next day, I had a 10”00am meeting, before I went to my desk. I did some wheeling and dealing with the beverage people, to be able to treat my passengers once in a while, without it breaking me. Luckily, few people came to the desk, I got the letters written and delivered and got us dressed up for the Black and Silver Ball. By the time Elvon and I got there, there wasn’t a seat in the house, so we retired to the piano bar, which was nice.

 

The next day, January 14, the phone rang, bright and early. It was a sign up for the Murder Mystery. Glad to oblige.   Tom Grindlay gave me two dates for Dining Room lunches for people to get to know each other, and one of them was January 16, so I’ll need to get a new letter out today. That’s fine because there was a slight error in yesterday’s one, anyway. So I gave Tom our logo and amended the letter.

 

I gave out some advice on Nuku Hiva and signed up a bunch of people for various things. I had published three choices for a night out in Hong Kong, horse races at the Jockey Club, dinner at the Yacht Club, and an elegant Chinese meal. All of them include friends who live in Hong Kong and are wonderful to meet. The early polling favored the Yacht Club, my own last choice, but I know they are right. This is something they need me to do. They can have their own good Chinese meal the other night.

 

There was a jazz jam in the Ocean Bar after dinner, and it was very good.

 

Well, when I brought up AOL the next morning, the ship’s sign on was inside the AOL Desktop software and the read, write, mail, etc. toolbar was absent. In over 500 days of sailing on Holland America, I had never seen such a thing. I had had a discussion with Nicola, the Communications Officer, a couple of days ago and had given him my tips for signing on to AOL, as he reported others in difficulty. This was the first time I had booted the computer, since then, and now I was afraid the good deed had not gone unpunished. I wrote it up and went to see him. He pleaded not guilty, and we set about troubleshooting together. It’s working again and I promised him dinner at our table in the Dining Room. He liked that.

 

The desk was busy again, thanks to the newsletters and interest sheets. I picked up the knowledge that one passenger had four tickets to the Barber of Seville at the Sydney Opera House on February 10 and another one had Blanc de Blancs, a cirque du soleil type show.

 

I got a little deck time with Elvon and dressed for dinner. The show was the Jack Pack, a male quartet. They were good and very easy on this old girl’s eyes.

 

The next day, before I left the cabin, and its handy phone, I made a couple of phone calls. Then I met with Tina and got all squared away with our various dates and participants. There was a passenger at the desk, when I got there, wanting advice as to which places to take ship’s tours and which not to. Today’s subject was New Zealand and we came up with two very good tours. The one in Picton looked particularly appealing; with its Maori war dance, all tongue-protruding, no doubt.

 

It wasn’t long before it was time for our lunch in the Dining Room. I fetched Elvon from the cabin and we went up. A lot of the people were already there, we were seated at the third table of six, and, sadly for them, two more people came and ended up alone at their table. But twenty was a good turn-out and the folks had fun meeting each other,

 

After lunch, Elvon and I sat on the deck and I caught up with some paperwork. The entertainment was “Dance Trance”. Lots of pretty costume changes.

 

The next morning, I met with the Pinnacle and Shore Excursions, ironing out a few details. I still don’t know what to tell our mobility challenged guests about the tours.

 

There was a big kerfuffle going on around Gene’s office. The minister, a Southern Baptist, has been consistently running over and cutting into the Bridge time. Today, it was about twenty minutes. When the Bridge people complain, the minister says they are interfering with God’s work. I saw a lot of Bridge people coming down to complain. They clearly had the weight of numbers on their side. I guess the work of the devil will go on, on the Amsterdam. Bridge and devotions now meet in different venues.

 

I got more info on docking in Sydney and Hong Kong. Sydney will be the remote White Bay, and Hong Kong, the handy Ocean Terminal. You win some…Tom Mullen of Cruise Specialists, stopped by, as he often does. We are friendly competitors, and he likes my chocolates, which are especially good this year, with the addition of a number of bags of Ghirardelli Squares, better quality chocolate from the Bay area, cheap at Ross in early January.

 

I took a break around one o’clock, to go to the gym with Elvon, and returned to the desk. I phoned the few people who had not been to the cocktail party, or had not told me about their tour attendance. This got one of them to come down for a new packet. I had spoken to her husband on day 2 and he had located the packet, but he must have hid it on her, because she says she never saw it. I made her a new one and she told me her story, which was so sweet. She grew up in a tiny town in Minnesota. One of her college summer jobs was waiting tables at a café there. One summer she had had a whirlwind romance with a patron, who was going to a different university, and whose summer job amounted to recruitment for his college. At the end of the summer, they went their separate ways back to school and lost track of each other. She married someone else, had a high powered career in NYC and ended up widowed about ten years ago. Two or three years ago, she started thinking about her old love and googled him. Google gave her his phone number, in Daytona Beach, FL. She called it and asked a couple of questions, when he answered the one about the little town with “Is this Joyce?” She knew she had her guy. It turns out he was widowed now, too, and living very well in a condo on the 21^st floor overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. He invited her down to see him, and they will be married two years in April. She’s eighty years old and happy as a clam. She signed up with me for a number of things.

 

When I was done at the desk, there wasn’t time to do much more than walk the deck, so I did that, showered and went to dinner. Sarah Chandler was playing the sax for us at 10:00pm. Her sparlkly dress went well with her sax, but she was otherwise unexceptional.

 

January 18, 2016 was the seventh day at sea. One passenger dropped by the desk with her credit card for two tickets to the Barber of Seville, at the Sydney Opera House. Another came to see me, prompted by yesterday’s phone message. At 34, he’s my second youngest passenger, after the 10-year old, who is traveling with her mother and grand mother.

 

This guy is traveling alone, and I couldn’t resist asking where he had made his money to be able to do so. It’s software, he wrote an application, grew the business and sold it. The company that bought it still pays him for support, but it’s too easy. He decided to take a break, see the world and see if another idea comes. Here’s another guy with a great story. We got on famously, as I began my career writing software, too, only then it was payrolls and accounting applications on an IBM 1401, with 16KB of memory. But, we could talk, and it was fun. He says he’s an old soul and will enjoy doing things with the group. So, I signed him up for a bunch of things. His interests are wine, food and computer technology. I have a lot of friends like that. I am like that.

 

A few more people stopped by, including the Executive Chef, Peter. I booked some officers for dinner at our table, and found out when I could offer my people a Bridge Tour. A Welsh choir fan among my passengers wanted to be sure to see the Hong Kong Welsh Men’s Choir, so I wrote my friend, Simon, in HK, who negotiates for them. Gene says the ship will probably have them but it’s a bit of a bun fight between him and head office, as there’s a big bar bill and each wants the other to cover it.

 

My day was shortened by the necessity to plan for and attend, out first DV dinner in the Pinnacle. We have the big table for 14 in the back room. I love it there. Just like home, if you live in a mansion. I went to the Pinnacle at 5:00pm and laid out place cards, like they do at the Captains’ Dinners, like we always did for business and pleasure dinners in Montreal, Hong Kong and Napa.

 

When I got there for dinner, fifteen minutes early, I learned that the one couple had been there for twenty minutes and insisted on sitting together. I switched two women. When the table was almost full, another couple arrived, who wanted to sit together as her English is poor and she needs him as a translator. That’s reasonable; I switched her too. That put two couples together, who eat at the same table every night. At least they like each other a lot, so it was OK. Not what I had intended, but OK. I poured wine from my Admiral’s package, six bottles of it, so I am out of pocket but everyone went away happy.

 

We got out in time for the 10:00 pm entertainment, which was our cast in “Encore”, light opera and musical theatre in concert. It was excellent.

 

Sorry this is so late. You’ll see why, as you read. We stayed in the Hilton Marina in Fort Lauderdale, overnight and had dinner at Coconuts with old IBM friends, the Muschetts, and new travel business friends, the Eckerts. I thought Bridge would be the topic that united them, but it turned out to be Jamaica. These people had attended the same New Years’ Eve parties, for years, back in the day. Small world. Good times, still. Good to have brought these nice people together in their own town.

The Eckerts took us to the ship around noon, and we got in line to board. It didn’t take too long and I was soon at work. This time my list matched the ship’s, so I could get to work on my welcome letters. It was nice to see Captain Jonathan Mercer again, and his wife , Karen. Henk and Christel Mensink are still here and welcomed us warmly, as did Gene Young, Shiv Charan, Willy Tubog, Jacques Louw. Tom Grindlay, Presti and Pande are still in the dining room, but Nikki George is no longer Events Manager.   That will be Mark Beasley and he was off buying stuff. Luckily I didn’t need him to write my first letter. I did meet with Nyron Peters, who now heads up Shore Excursions, and did the list check with Eduardo at the Front Desk.

Then I installed my printer at my desk in the Atrium on Deck 3, and went into production. While I was putting the letters together, Michael Innes and Gail Hanson, the new Bridge Instructors, stopped by to introduce themselves and to ask for the bus monitor job. I have no idea how word gets around, but they looked like perfect candidates, so they have the job.

I got all the letters delivered in time to go to dinner, which was great. Our table mates are all five-star Mariners, Kathy & Mike from Seattle, Marge, who is a Southern Belle, and (hooray) Marilyn Goldblatt and Stan Haidl, from Florida (originally New York). Marilyn and Stan were our tablemates on the 2012 Grand World, and have been our 10:00pm show lounge partners ever since. There was no show the first night, though, and it was just as well. I had some unpacking to do.

January 6, we were at sea, and I went to my desk in the atrium on Deck 3, surrounded by officers’ offices, and sometimes a bunch of tables for people to play games on. I cleared out the Rummykub, and made the desk my own. I saw a few of my people and connected them with others, based on interests, like scuba-diving. Others came to talk about and sign up for our tours. Al Vence and Linda Linthicum stopped by to say “Hello” and tell me which tours they were taking. I sprout wings and a halo every time I see these two. They met in my group on the 2014 Grand World, and got married last year. They look so happy.

I met with Rebecca Antuna, who is in charge of groups for Shorex. She was on last year’s world and we get along swimmingly. She will deliver all the tickets for me to control, which is much easier.

I got the cocktail invitation text and list to Willy and went back to the cabin to call everyone I had not seen yet. I had to leave a few messages, but I did either see or speak to most of them. Joanne Ward came to my cabin to return my call, and I have a haircut partner for Hong Kong. She’s perfect. She has great thick curly hair.

 

The entertainment was an all-singing, all-dancing production show called “Talk of the Town” and it was very good and nice to be back on the bench with Marilyn and Stan.

Still at sea, on January 7, I met with Mark and gave him some dates for a talk on HK. He looks like he will be easy to work with. I also met with Christel and found what to do to get my Koningsdam clients, Steve & Tricia Harrold, on to the Amsterdam for brunch the day they board in Civitavecchia. She also gave me the scoop on whom to deal with on IT matters. She is very fed up with the onboard Internet, herself

Then I went to my desk, where I adopted a couple of ladies who were traveling with their men, but not all the way around, and dispensed various bits of advice, business as usual.

The ship had a cocktail party at 7:00pm, so we went to that before dinner. The ship’s doctor was introduced as having graduated from McGill.  That was interesting in itself, as I don’t remember them naming the school other years.  I always knew our Med school was famous, of course.  Take a bow, Linda Snell.

The entertainment was “An Evening with the Finkels” at 10:00pm. Elliot Finkel is a wonderful concert pianist. We liked him so much last year we invited him to dinner. This year he brought his brother Ian, an excellent xylophone player, who in my opinion took up too much of the performance. I wanted to listen to Elliot. He also brought his 93-year old father, Fyvush, who has an Emmy, and can still belt out a great version of “If I were a rich man” from Fiddler. He played the role on Broadway for years.

Before I ever left my cabin, on January 8, I worked on my Cocktail Party Presentation. Since this is my fourth world cruise, I just had to tweak the old one and add the very good idea to ask everyone to state an interest, when they stood up.

I saw Tina in the Pinnacle to lay my hands on some seats for the Old Time Radio Show and Murder Mystery, which are another fun way to get some people together. I also booked the big table in the back for 14 on January 18.

Cocktail hour is upon us early when it is 4:30 in the afternoon. 56 out of 65 people attended and I later heard that at least 4 more would have come, had they been more organized. It’s easy to get caught up in other things on this ship. There is an awful lot to do. Henk and Gene came and gave little speeches, as did Joanne of Future Cruises.

Jan Yetke took great pictures for me. I will know everyone’s names very soon with all these. Everyone seemed to love introducing themselves and telling where they are from and what they are interested in doing this cruise.

The evening’s entertainment was Bobie Eakes, an excellent singer. We’d be happy to see her again.

Finally, on January 9, we docked in Puerto Limon (San Jose), Costa Rica . While Elvon was dressing I called Christel to work out a cabin problem. By the time I relayed our solution to the client, she could not get her husband to move, so, it’s moot, but she’s impressed with us.

Then Elvon and I went out for a nice little piggy breakfast in the Lido,where I happened to run into the doc and mentioned I had gone to McGill, too, and the usual ‘who do you know?” conversation ensued.  It turns out she interned under Linda, one of thousands, I suppose. She said Linda was brilliant.  I knew that.  She knew Wendy Sissons, too, not well, but said she referred many patients.  That’s no news either, but nice to hear.

After gym with Elvon, I went ashore with a weird little shopping list. I needed to replace my nice wooden candy dish, bought here in 2014, and left on the ship. It was still there in 2015, but someone had liberated it this year.   I wanted to replace my lost Swiss army pocket knife, Elvon had broken his razor, and I had already used up my Crazy Glue, fixing cheap blingy sandals. I also wanted to price and likely buy, Voltaren, the analgesic cream I now use on my sore neck. My US co-pay is $85/100 grams.

It’s a typical grubby third-world town, with no such thing as a department store, so that list had me walking all over town, following directions from one shop to the next. I got it all, though, a couple of rare wood bird mobiles for Lori Wear’s brand new twins, and a good, cheap pedicure.

I had a little deck time with Elvon, who had been there while I was out, dinner and more of the Finkels. Good stuff, that. We love, love, love having live entertainment every night.

Elvon’s days always include a few hours of deck time, as well as an hour in the gym, which we now do together, as well as dinner and a show. On January 10, the deck time was more stimulating, as it included the Panama Canal, with commentary. I had desk time, of course, and was still meeting people and signing them up for excursions.

We anchored off Fuerte Amador, which is on a peninsula near Panama City, early, around 6:00pm. There’s a hop-on, hop off bus from there that tours this large, modern looking city of skyscrapers. I am told it’s not so pretty up close and personal, and plan to hop on said conveyance tomorrow and find out. For now, I hopped a tender to reconnoiter

.

It was another shopping center, with a couple of restaurants, so that was a short trip. It needed to be, anyway, as I still had to dress both of us for dinner at eight. At the gate to the tender dock, there was a lady, who looked homeless, trying to talk her way on to the ship. She had tattoos down both arms, and a face that looked like she had had a hard life. We see the results of too much plastic surgery a lot on the ship, but this was different. I boarded the tender, as the crewmember at the gate called the ship. Next thing I knew, I was sitting across from the lady. She said she had not been allowed to board in Fort Lauderdale, because she had fluid on her lung and they wanted her briefly hospitalized and treated, in case it was contagious. Her husband had boarded anyway, as he is somewhat handicapped and does not do well at all on planes. She was very nice, and maybe belonged with us, after all. She had an excellent French pedicure on her toes. Henk and Christel were at the tender platform welcoming her home. That clinched it.

We had dinner and listened to Shirley Dominguez, an excellent harpist, with the most beautiful little harp you ever saw. It’s shiny, bright red, inset with Swarovsky crystals, and electronic, so it sounds like a big one. She’s fun to watch and listen to.

Fuerte Amador, Panama, January 11: I have a lot of trouble getting off the ship early now. Since Elvon rarely gets off, we have a big treat breakfast in the Lido, followed by an hour in the gym, before I can leave. The problem today was that the last tender would be at 3:30pm, and the hop-on, hop-off bus was a two hour circuit. Christel was on the tender with me around noon, with the same hope, but we both knew it wasn’t all that likely. I asked her about the lady who boarded last night and there’s quite a story there. It’s heartwarming, too. The tattoos cover serious burns she got when her house burned down, many years ago. She has had a lot of plastic surgery on her face and all over her body, and yes, periodic fluid on her lungs is just one ongoing problem. But, she’s determined to make lemonade out of what life hands her and her motto has to be “Carpe Diem”, like mine, because she and her husband are in the most expensive accommodation on the ship, a multi-million dollar penthouse, for four months. Good on her. I am an instant fan. I’ll be looking for her to befriend.

Barbara Haenni, the Location Guide, was boarding the tender as we disembarked, and told us we were out of luck as far as the hop-on, hop-off bus went, as the last one that would work had just left. Next time through here, I will make it a point to get off earlier.

We took the free shuttle to the mall, where the clothing was polyester and the WiFi, abysmal. When I got back to the ship, I was told the WiFi at the pier had been great. This really is a note for the next time.

The show was Phillip Huber and his Marionettes and he was fabulous. Google him, you can buy the doggie, strings and all.

 

December 28, we were in Bridgetown, Barbados, and it was our 22^nd wedding anniversary. We woke up sailing in to port, right next to the Oceania Marina. Then the Celebrity Summit arrived and the Ocean Princess. We were the little boat today and the port would likely be mobbed. I had spent time here before, thanks to an IBM Hundred Percent Club, and it was doubtless nicer then. It was time to stay aboard and write.

I can’t leave Elvon to his own devices like I used to, or he would just vegetate in the room. So, I stick close to him, exercise in the gym, walk the deck, PhotoShop, read and write, and generally take care of business. The weather is perfect here on board. I was told it was hotter than hell on shore, so don’t waste any sympathy on me. A few party boats sailed on by to tease us, and I remembered the fun we had on the junks in Hong Kong.

Around five-thirty, we went up for Sailaway, but Al wasn’t playing his steel pan,as we were leaving during first seating of dinner. We came up just as the Oceania ship was sailing and it said Riviera on her stern. I am sure I saw Marina in the morning so I have to believe they were both here. I don’t have the luxury of free Internet to check. Next it was the Summit’s turn and it was fun to watch her maneuver out of the harbor.   She’s big and beautiful. We have been on her, NYC to Quebec City, four or five years ago, more fond memories.

We needed to go dress for dinner, as there was, what our table-mate, Sam, called, an Ancient Mariners’ party in the Crow’s nest. They sat us with Terry, who is 93 and just delightful. She spends most of her time at sea but moves from ship to ship. She doesn’t want to go anywhere near Europe, so when the ship she is on makes it’s way in that direction, she picks up another one that takes her someplace else. Once in a while, she actually stays home. She has a condo in Fort Lauderdale, right near Port Everglades. I wonder if it’s Linda and Bob’s building. I must ask, next time I see her.

Annette Montanez, Event Manager, was there hosting, along with the Captain, et al, so she came by and escorted us to dinner. Our table had printed up a card for us, which was really sweet of them. Annette was fun. You always learn a few things when you have an officer at table. She is from New York, like Charlie and Bunny, so they connected easily. The dining room staff came over and sang “Panjang Amurnya”, and I sang right along, thanks to having learned the words last cruise.

Gabe Abelson, comedian and mentalist, found himself the opening act for the Filipino Crew Show. He was good, and so were the Filipino crew. Our wine steward, Tina, did the dance between the clacking bamboo that always makes me nervous on a moving ship, but I have never seen anyone make a mistake.

The next day, December 29, 2015, we were in Port Elizabeth, St. Vincent. Since I hadn’t actually finished the logging and blogging yesterday, I stayed aboard again and got it out. By the time that was done, it was almost two o’clock and all aboard was 4:30pm, in a tender port. So I walked a mile and a half around the deck and worked over the manifest for the Grand World, while watching the sailboats tack and reach and luff, and thinking of the good old days at the Royal St. Lawrence.

Al was playing his tenor pan at sailaway, and Gabe Abelson came to the table for dinner. Dan brought a bottle of champagne and we were very merry. Gabe is a treat. He reads your mind by watching your eyes, your voice, etc. The formal study is Neuro-Linguistic Programming and it’s put to use by the FBI, CIA and the like. He has been recruited by them, but feels happier and safer on cruise ships. Ya think? Anyway, we all had a ball and were late for the ten o’clock show. It was a good one, too, Lazlo and Claudia, dueling violins, a Hungarian and an Italian. Volatile mixture, that, and, yes, they’re married.

Finally we got a sea day on December 30, and we could fast. We had breakfast in the room, and went to the gym, before my office hours started at 11:00am. I met Carol Martis on the way there and we talked about how we were all getting on the Grand World. It turns out we are staying at the same hotel. I stopped by the Front Desk and signed up for “On Deck for a Cause”. I’ll be walking the deck for cancer on January 3.

One of my guests came by for a better understanding of Distinctive Voyages and left with the 2016 DV Brochure. They had been furious at the ship for not keeping the pools functioning when in port. It’s a complex issue, as you can’t fill them within so many miles of land, but this lady had been a school principal most of her life, and basically ran a NYC school district, so she’s a heavy duty manager. She’s organized and knows how to get a tough point across. They booked an appointment with Bart, the Hotel Manager, and she gave it to him for about a half-hour. The pools are full in port now, and they had a lovely free Le Cirque dinner in the Pinnacle last night – on Bart.

Another guest stopped by to complain about the fact that she has not been able to use her verandah more than twice in 12 days. She doesn’t think she is getting her money’s worth. After office hours, I went to see Daphne Groeneveld, Guest Relations Manager, and she promised to do something for Louise.

While I was waiting for Daphne, I ran into Gabe Abelson and told him four of our table mates were at The Pinnacle tonight, and would he like to eat with us again. He would, good. Maybe I can gather more moss. I did, three of my people and it was a lot of fun, again. The show was just the singers on stools, singing, and it was called “Sessions.” Good enough for us.

New Year’s Eve, we were in San Juan, Puerto Rico. After every fast day, we have a nice pig out in the Lido at breakfast. Elvon is still having Eggs Benedict, but I have been branching out. Today’s cheese and onion omelet, with maple syrup, and bacon on the side, was just yummy. You can tell I am from Quebec. Then we went up to the gym to work it off and for me to have another mini-massage. Then I delivered my last newsletter and the comment cards.

When that was done, I went back to the cabin and packed up my computer to go get some decent Internet. Since it cost me about $100 worth of ship’s Internet to kill the virus I picked up in a Café in Portugal, last year, I am only using big hotel chains, libraries and yacht clubs, when I go ashore. I couldn’t find a yacht club on RHKYC’s list, so I figured it would be a Hilton.

On the way to the elevator, we met our nonagenarians, who are the healthiest people on the ship. She was in a bathing suit, with a skirt. They had been to the beach, and she had gone swimming! I still think I want to be Dolly, when I grow up, but Molly is healthier! She’s swimming in the ocean in her nineties! Anyway, they said it was a $15 taxi to get to the Hilton, but they had picked up a free bus on the way back. I should take it out there. Some of them are open air buses, I should get one of those.

Right. I got Elvon settled in a deck chair, and went looking for the free bus. The Carnival Sunshine was in port along with us and the HAL Zuiderdam. I took the first open bus that came, as I didn’t mind the idea of a ride around San Juan. I had never been before. The bus was crowded and I had to take a handicapped seat to start. Next thing I knew, two lovely young girls in miniskirts decided to share the seat beside me. They were in a party mood, and they were from Quebec. There was quite a bit of hooting and hollering on the bus, which catered to both locals and tourists. Hey, the price is right for everyone.

It took us past city hall and other civic buildings, out to the fort on the waterfront. It was all very lovely and I clicked away, fully intending to dump at least 9 out of ten pictures. This is the real definition of point and shoot, and the camera performed well.

I asked the driver to let me off at the Hilton, but it wasn’t on this route. So, he left me off at the bus terminal, where I found out the Hilton was out of Old San Juan. I went over my options and a police officer told me there was a Sheraton, not far away at all. Since I had spent an hour on the bus, and could see the Zuiderdam from where I was standing, the Sheraton looked like a pretty good option.

It pays to dress up a bit. Those white Indian tunics I buy look elegant, especially with my expensive Tilley Hemp Hat. I approached the hotel greeter and explained that I had not been on the Internet on land in 12 days, and would buy whatever it took to get it. She sent me to the 2^nd floor, where there were rest rooms, a teeny tiny coffee shop, and a reception area, where it looked like a buffet might happen soon. I bought a coke in the coffee shop and got to work, downloading much that had been left in the cloud, some of which was business, much of which was Christmas letters.

After about an hour and a half, I noticed my glass was sweating a puddle. Because I fear liquids near computers, like the plague, I got out a Kleenex to wipe up the condensation, and… knocked over the glass. I had been keeping it well back of the computer, but liquid is fast. I think I saved it and I am sure none got on the keyboard, but it will be a concern for some months. The mousie sat in the coke for a little longer, while I saved the computer, so he might go, but mice are cheap, as life forms go.

I didn’t want to leave right away, as I wanted to keep the computer running for at least a half-hour, but the wedding party was closing in. Amazingly no one tossed me out, but there were a lot of waiters assembled in formation and the lobby was full of gorgeously dressed guests, as I made my exit. I was very happy I didn’t look too shabby. FYI, it was an American wedding and all the waiters spoke unaccented English. Did they import them for the occasion? We’ll never know.

New Year’s Eve on the ship very festive, and I hear it went on to 4:00 in the morning. We took a fancy picture of one of the best tables we have ever had, and I promised to make a card and bring it on the last night.

We talked about table karma, when you stay and when you leave and all agreed this was a very, very good one. We went to the show, Latin American Virtuoso Pianist, Juan Pablo. He was good. We stayed put for the dancing, which, to us, is another kind of show. We were against the wall near the very back. The Party started at eleven, and the free champers came out on schedule, at 11:45pm. We drank it, wished everyone around a Happy New Year and retired to our stateroom, to watch the ball fall in Times Square.

New Year’s Day, found us in Samana, Dominican Republic. I worked for a bit and took a tender to shore for my walk. This little town has a long paved beach walk, which I did from end to end in an hour. There wasn’t much open, but there were a few kids entertaining for tips, and I paid them to get pictures.

By the time I was back near the ship, the moto-taxis had come way down in price and I got one for an hour for $15. Samuel really wanted me to do two hours, and maybe I should have, but that would have got me back too close to all aboard for comfort. A moto-taxi here is a tuk-tuk in Asia. It’s a motorcycle with a box behind. It’s a pretty flimsy box and there are a number of teeth-jarring potholes in this place. Samuel managed to avoid most of them, but I did feel a good few.

I got back to the ship and Elvon around three thirty, and we had ice-cream, deck time and sailaway. When we got back, I found a Comments Card, chiding me for the lateness of Happy Hour. I devised a new plan and delivered another letter. I made it back in time for another nice dinner at our table and a show with Vegas Headliner, Ricardo Antonio.

January 2, was out last port, Grand Turk and Caicos. There was a very nice beach a stone’s throw from the ship, but I elected to just stay aboard, pack and catch up with myself. I am trying to relax more. We had a nice dinner, in Canaletto, with Irene and Leslie Gruenwald from Shore Excursions. We like to catch up once a year. It was a production show, called Atlantic Crossing, with all British songs. I am embarrassed to admit, I didn’t know many of them. On January 3, 2016, our last day, we were at sea and everyone was packing. I had packed the day before, because I had office hours, boarding passes to do, and a cocktail party that was now starting at 4:30pm. That isn’t fun for me and I am sorry I did it.

Office hours were quiet. I did the boarding passes and finished packing. We went up to the Crow’s Nest at 4:30pm. There were never any more than five of us at a time. It was nice and relaxed, but not a plan I would repeat. We had a lovely farewell dinner at our table and missed the last show, which was the Finale of the Dancing with the Stars competition.

Docked back in Fort Lauderdale on January 4, ae dragged our feet about getting off, as the hotel would only make us wait for our rooms anyway. It took Elvon forever to get going and along the corridors, but the exercise is good for him and would be all he would get for the day. Our Canadian friend, who is coming on the World, was a bit ahead of us, and saved our luggage from being picked up as unclaimed in the terminal. Then we had to wait for her, as she gave hers into HAL’s custody for loading on to the Amsterdam, when it docked. By the time we got back together again, there wasn’t a cab to be seen. Bob Eckert to the rescue and the three of us made it safely to the Hilton Marina, just about across the street from the port.

I did some last minute shopping with Linda and went back to the room to be a travel agent for a couple of hours and have a tub bath.

We had dinner at Coconuts, with the Eckerts and the Muschetts. We knew they’d have Bridge in common, we didn’t realize how many Jamaican friends, too. They had been going to the same New Years’ Eve parties for years, years ago. To add to the Jamaican connection, my one other Jamaican friend, Theresa, called in while we were waiting for our table. What a happy coincidence.

Fort Lauderdale, December 16-19, 2015

 

Yesterday was the usual panic, just before you go, It’s always the same, no matter how hard I try. When the world doesn’t’ do it to me. I do it to myself. I had a doctor’s appointment in St.Helena to remove a stitch and took Elvon to Exertec for his last swim. While he swam, I had a walk and a nice call to Robert Lemire, a friend for a good sixty years. Then I opened my computer in Exertec and got so involved with emails, and Tripits for clients, that I missed my physical therapy, that I sorely need for my neck. Meanwhile in LA, Susan’s movers were late and she got out of town at five, rather than noon. I called Napa Airporter. I wasn’t having her drive again at 5:30am. She did arrive at midnight, and by then, I had actually finished packing.

 

We were up again 4am, after 2.5 hrs sleep. Our driver, Manny, was great, and we jumped through all the hoops, and got to the Hilton Marina in Fort Lauderdale in time for dinner and bed. The Hilton is next door to our friends, Linda McMillan and Bob Eckert, who picked us up for lunch on Thursday. I got a little work done that afternoon, finished the Tripits and emails, and went back to the Eckerts for wine and heavy hors d’oeuvres, and to sort out the boxes I had had sent there. Shipping about 30 pounds of literature makes a difference when you’re traveling with someone who cannot schlep. We never travel with more than one suitcase each, plus Roffice, my mobile office, and a boat tote, which starts out almost empty.

 

We finished off with some calamari, around the hotel pool and went to bed. We were tired enough not to be having any trouble adjusting to time differences.

 

On Friday, I was touched when Linda gave up her regular Bridge game to come to WalMart with me. The Fort Lauderdale WalMart is a kick and truly not optional. I spent over $250 on candy and toiletries for four months, and one dancing penguin for Elvon’s walker. Linda and I, Irish girls that we are, named him Paddy O’Penguin and expected him to be the hit of the ship.

 

We had dinner at The Boatyard, and it was scrumptious. Hog fish was new to us, but is now a favorite. It’s in the snapper family. The Boatyard did it up very well, and served it with Bimini Bread, which is bread baked with butter and honey inside. It’s almost dessert. We took a second loaf back to the room for breakfast. And we had it, too, with a couple of Atkins shakes from Walmart. They were a smart buy, because on the morning of the 19th, I found I had a cruise to book for clients, before boarding our Caribbean cruise on the Prinsendam.

 

Boarding was easy, and I found the events manager was Annette Montanez, who had been the culinary host on the Amsterdam for a couple of sailings we had done. She introduced me to Calin and we sorted out our cocktail party and a couple of special happy hours, just for us. Holland America eliminated seven to eight happy hours last year, because the bars are profitable enough at that time. They want to force us to start drinking at 4pm. God knows, I like a glass of wine before dinner, but if I start drinking at four, I’ll never get anything done, not to mention the shape we’d be in by dinner at eight. Seven to eight suits, because you can attract guests from both seatings. Calin heard me and offered me two nights, where he would offer happy hour pricing just for our group. I picked Boxing Day and January 3, the last day on board. See welcome letter, etc, which follows this.

 

Irene Gruenwald and her husband Leslie run Shore Excursions here. I have sailed with them many times on the Amsterdam. They had a different list for our shore excursion than I have, 37 people when I have 41 or more. One of my lists has 44. I asked Leslie to hold off on printing tickets, until I could sort it out. And I did, about five days later.

 

It took me a few hours to sort the list out as best I could and get the welcome packet out. I ended up delivering it after dinner.

 

December 20, found us at sea. We should have been at Half Moon Cay, Holland America’s very own island, but the weather was nasty and it’s a tender port. Captain Dag deemed we would be happier beating around the storm and going straight for St. John. So, I made a bunch of phone calls in the morning and went to my desk at 11:00am, as I had promised for sea days. On this ship, I share it with Robbie, the “Port Shopping Ambassador”. He was happy to let me have it over the lunch hour.

 

People came, and I took their pictures for my screen saver. It’s how I teach myself names. I sorted out a few glitches but nothing major.

 

Our dinner companions are still great and everyone comes. There are some wonderful large tables in the world. This is one of them. We went to the show, Mark Pitta, a comedian and vocal impressionist. OK, but not outstanding.

We were still at sea on December 21. We get room service breakfasts on sea days. I answered some email and went to the desk at eleven. A steady stream of people came by. Robbie, the Port Shopping Ambassador, stopped to chat me up and drum up business from our group. He explained the ship would stand behind purchases made at certain stores, etc. I wasn’t very familiar with a lot of what he was talking about, having little interest in shopping for jewelry in these overpriced islands, when I have access to Hong Kong and India. He observed that “obviously, you don’t travel much.” Guess not. We only have about 700 days at sea. I’ll have to work on that.

 

Our cocktail party was at 4:30pm, so there wasn’t much afternoon to speak of. We got a little promenade deck time, and I did my walk there. The temperature is perfect, so it was a pleasure. Then I sat down and cleared emails for a bit, before getting up at 3:30pm to go pour us both into formal attire.

Paddy O’Penguin, of course, came in a tuxedo. He looks very elegant, dancing to “We wish you a Merry Christmas”. Then he cracks everyone up when he breaks into “The Chicken Dance”. He is an enormous hit. He entertains in elevators, in the dining room, and all around the ship. There’s a little kid in every one of us. The Pilipinos and Indonesians, who make up most of the crew, have a higher dose than most, which is what makes them so lovable.

Thirty-three people came to our Cocktail Reception. It was a good one. The hors d’oeuvres were fabulous and the Explorer’s lounge was well laid out for the purposes. The people did get to interact nicely. Having them introduce themselves and sing out their home towns is always a good ice-breaker. Once again, we found people who lived very near each other and were delighted t o meet. By the time it was over I had 36 sign-ups for our shore excursion.

Anna, the acupuncturist, joined our table for dinner and paid for the wine, which is a very merry thing to do. There was an all-singing, all-dancing production show to cap the evening off. We like those. So does Paddy O’Penguin.

We were still at sea on December 22. I had to put a sign on the desk changing my hours, because there was a Mariners’ Presentation and lunch at 10:30am, and we were becoming 500-day gold medal holders. Thanks, vcom. These are 500 actual sea days. This you get for doing three Grand Worlds, a Grand Asia and a bunch of shorter cruises. Most of my people were there anyway, so no one complained about the change of hours.

Our table was hosted by Bart Groeneveld, the Hotel Director. He trained on the Amsterdam, under Henk Mensink, and married the Guest Relations Manager on the Prinsendam. He learned a lot from Henk, it seems. Anyway, he was delightful and gave me a long list of people on the Amsterdam to commend him to, Dolly not the least of them, and I will.

I have been taking Elvon up to the gym to ride a stationary bike every day and to do my own cat stretch and special neck exercises. I finally had time to negotiate a series of 12 15-min massages for said portion of my anatomy. Last June’s broken pelvis has healed good as new, but left me with all my old whiplash injuries severely aggravated. I am almost back to my old normal, and I have decided I want even better. This will be my indulgence this trip.

The entertainment was Chris Michaels, who plays everything from the banjo to the turkey baster. He’s funny too. Good show.

Landfall on December 23, at St. John, US Virgin Islands: It was a tender port and the seas were rough. Elvon would be going no place. While we were getting dressed we heard the stretcher team called to the tender platform. I later heard the rumor that people heard the bone break. At the time we were told nothing, but my guess was correct. Elvon is very right to be wary of tenders.

 

Finally, we got Eggs Benedict in the Lido, and they are every bit as good as on the Amsterdam. Then we went up to the Gym to exercise. That done, I left Elvon in a deck chair on the promenade deck, and went out to see the town.

It wasn’t much, but I got my walk in and paid $2.50 for a bottle of water. Those cotton tops I get in Asia are going for $159. The $2.50 was all I spent. When I got back to the tender dock, we were herded into a holding area and asked to wait. There was the tender and there was the nurse, with her manila envelope. Our patient was obviously on the tender. Presently, on island time, the ambulance arrived. The paramedics talked to the nurse and the next thing we know, our tender pulled away from the dock to let the next one pick us up.

I rejoined Elvon mid-afternoon and spent some time on emails and cruise related work. It’s not so much like work, when it’s on a deck chair on a cruise ship. We went to Sailaway, where Al was playing the steel pan to electronic accompaniment. Very “Islands.” I have loved the steel drums and/or pans, ever since IBM sent me to teach in Kingston, Jamaica, for three weeks in 1970. I had every dinner by the hotel pool to steel pan reggae.

I did my exercises, had a mini-massage and we dressed for dinner. As usual, our table was very entertaining, but the singer is to be avoided in the future. Her name is Tricia Kelly, FYI.

On Christmas Eve, we were in Gustavia, St. Barthelemy, French Virgin Islands. Affectionately known as St. Bart’s. this island is still French. Like most of the Caribbean Islands, it has changed hands a number of times. Even the Swedish were in here, hence, “Gustavia”. The Swedes actually sold it to the French in the late 19^th century. This selling off of islands was prime with the abolition of slavery. No slaves, no profits from the sugar cane business. The islands had a hard time of it until tourism came to the rescue in the last fifty years or so. They seem to be making up for lost time, with the prices they charge. More power to them, but I often don’t even get off. Taking care of Elvon, and my job, and correspondence, take up most of my time. (I was using the singular “takes” here because I only had one action word, “taking”, but Word didn’t like it. So much for Word, back to care-taking.) I can relax and take care of Elvon at the same time, not so true for running around on shore, so it has to be worth it. The islands are beautiful, and they are beautiful from the ship, too.

 

Today, from my deck chair, I worked on our Christmas Card and figured out how to send it out through WordPress. When I have more time and good free Internet, I’ll have to explore that more. At least, for now, I am getting something out.

We all dressed up for dinner at our table. Then we went to the show, a Chinese comedian and juggler named, Thien Fu, who was pretty good. He was really the opening act for “The Sounds of Christmas”, a multi-cultural Christmas concert, put on by the crew, and the Prinsendam singers. Our crew comes from 34 countries, only three of which are represented by more than 20 people. The Dutch Choir was enthusiastic, but not so hot, as they pretty much had to use everyone, and a lot of them couldn’t sing. Not that I can talk. They looked nice, though. There were a lot of officers in dress whites in that group. With 201 Indonesians and 154 Pilipinos and Filipinas to chose from, those were the stars. The Philippine people have a special music gene.

Since we are using Charles Sutton, the Minister, and his wife, Lena Bruinsma, as bus monitors, we went to the Interdenominational Service at midnight and took communion. It was really Christmas on the Prinsendam.

Just after we landed at Basseterre – St. Kitts on Christmas Day, the captain came on the PA to tell us that an unidentified object had been spotted in the sky on the approach. Fifteen minutes later it was clear that it was Santa and his sleigh. The ship went all out for the kids, of whom there are probably a dozen on board. But, apparently, they were all on shore excursions. One little girl was there to partake of Santa’s generosity. This is hearsay, because we didn’t fancy egg nog at 10am. We were having Eggs Benedict. Why they didn’t do it at 7:00pm between dinners, on Christmas Eve, remains a mystery to me.

 

After breakfast in the Lido, exercises and massage, I went ashore briefly. There were plenty of tourists in the portside shops, but very few out them in town, so I didn’t go too far alone. I did explore the church, but my camera had died before I got in there, so no shots of the stained glass. It was nice, though.

We had had turkey on Christmas Eve, so I had roast beef and Elvon had the goose. Dan told me how to fix the camera. Paddy O’Penguin danced a lot but not in the production show, which was called “Dance” and was terrific.

On Boxing Day, December 26, we were in Basse-Terre, Guadeloupe, but I never even got off. I just relaxed and took care of business.

We went to dinner in the Pinnacle with Madeline Young and Carmine Abbio, who were delightful. I think it’s a free dinner for all of us, thanks to our five lovely stars.

We dined right through the show, which was fine as it was a variety show of three previous entertainers, two of whom were at the bottom of my list.

December 27, in Castries, St. Lucia, was the highlight of the trip, so far. It was the day of our free tour. We had two mini-buses, basic, but comfortable enough. On the way in to town, Daisy, our guide, pointed out the sights and gave us a few demographics. There are 180,000 people on the island, 60% of whom are German Catholics. I was raised by nuns in Montreal and I never heard of this sect. As far as I know German Catholics are Roman Catholics. Someone correct me if I am wrong. The rest are mostly Protestants of all denominations. There was another cruise ship in port, the Freewind. Daisy said that was no tourist ship, its passengers were all missionaries. She did not say which sect. I’m guessing Mormons or Adventists.

She taught us just enough Creole to be dangerous. “Sa ka fete?” means “What’s happening?” and “Doo Doo” means “darling”, which gave us permission to get silly with each other. We passed the Rodney Bay Marina, which is huge and full of fabulous yachts. I know one reader who will be pleased with that. Maybe Still Crazy XVIII needs to dock here.

Presently we were all dropped off at a pan yard. It belonged to a non-profit steel band called “PanTime”. The band was out competing, as they all do in the Caribbean. The facility is open to anyone who wants to come play around on the steel drums and pans. Some people use it as a babysitting service, and the kids actually learn something useful. Today, we were the kids and we learned how to play the chorus of “When the Saints go Marching In”. or GBCD, GBCD, GBCA, BG BG, DDDA etc..The pans and drums had the notes on them in black marker for us novices. It was harder than it looks, but a lot of fun. Google: PanTime + St. Lucia. There’s music on YouTube, too.

Back on the bus, Daisy discussed the flora and fauna of the island, on our ride to Stony Hill. Perched on the top of Stony Hill, it’s a pink plantation house, owned by a British civil servant, who decided to remain, when his tour of duty was up. It’s a pity he doesn’t rent rooms, because it would be a great place to stay, but, as an entertainment venue, it’s doing just fine. Our host has had all his garden paths paved and fitted with metal banisters, which are necessary because the paths are pretty steep and are doubtless hazardous when wet. I found them challenging enough dry. But the views were fantastic, and the weather was perfect. We ate on the sweeping verandah. The drinks were mango juice, tamarind juice and plain water. We needed nothing more. They were just delicious. The menu was limited but every single dish was fabulous. We had cabbage salad, corn fritters, sweet potatoes, Creole Chicken, steamed fish, and wonderful homemade sauces, one of which had a little heat in it. They served that one on the side, which was a good thing, as it took a little getting used to. It reminded me very much of Theresa’s jerk sauce and that’s probably what it was. Dessert was Bananas Foster, local bananas, of course. www.stonyhillstlucia.com

Everyone was exceedingly happy. Many said it was the best tour of the whole cruise and everyone I asked agreed that if they saw the same tour on the list next year, they would take it again.   That’s the kind of thing that makes me sooo happy. I was able to relax for the rest of the evening and go to bed feeling fine.

Not before we went to the 10 o’clock show, mind you. It was called “Stage and Screen” and featured, (what else?) show tunes. I retired Paddy O’Penguin, but people are still asking for him.

 

 

They had the nerve to sail off over the holidays this year. They won’t be back until May. At least they did provide a crab feast for our sitting with my personal photographer, Root. She has gone professional on us, but still works for me, for purrs. Daughter Susan is in residence in Napa with me. Cat and Matt are well on Long Island.

And, as the world is in fsssts,
we’ve love and purrs for you and yours,
this holiday season .

Elvon, Helen & Sylly P

 

 

Cat’s Ass cards by Helen and Ruth 2015…HelenMegan@aol.com

CARE giving is a big job.  So is running even a (busy) little travel agency, and a house.  And, have I mentioned healing?  Not that I am complaining, but just so’s you know why I made a decision this morning.

This year’s card is going to be posted here and I’ll send out email, inviting you to come see it.  I’m hoping you’ll sign up for my blog at the same time.  I am going to take the money I save on stamps and printing, which is about $500, and give it to the kind of charities that brighten the holidays for those who are down on their luck, like our fire victims, The Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc.

It will be out before we leave, we’re taking the picture tonight.  Do sign up for the blog, if you want to follow us on the Prinsendam over the holidays and around the world for the fourth time on the Amsterdam.

We are coming around you again in 2016.  I’ll be vacation.com’s Concierge Host and Elvon will bask in his duties as host consort.  It’s an amazing bargain this year, likely due to an increase in competition.  $19,999 per person, double occupancy, gets you on board with us, instead of just reading my blogs.  Yes, for four months, cheaper than staying home.  I’ll be delighted to be your helper, adviser, drinking buddy, whatever it takes.  And we have two overnights in Hong Kong, where we really know how to have fun.

We’re starting early.  We’ve always wanted to sail on the Prinsendam, Holland America’s Renaissance style ship.  So, we’ll be spending Christmas in the Caribbean, on her.  On January 5, we’ll board the Amsterdam, for another four month adventure, our fourth.

Want to come play?  For all four months or a segment?  Take a look at http://tinyurl.com/2016RTW .  Then call or email me.  I would love to sell it to you, and I can promise you the vacation of a lifetime.

Purrs,

Helen