My next assignment is Celebrity Silhouette, August 6, 14-Night British Isles Cruise, Amsterdam to Amsterdam.  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.  Better yet, call Becky Jones and book it, telling her you are my client –  210-745-0124.  See the itinerary and approximate pricing at http://www.cruisepro.biz/search/enter.asp?site=X1952&dir=OfferCompare&MyOffers=3975684&B2CQuickView=1&account=Helen+Megan,+HelenMegan@aol.com

March 8 was a day to catch up between Vietnamese ports.  Saigon was going to be fun.  I had shopping partners.  I worked my travel business for a couple of hours.  One of my people came to discuss modes of transportation in Petra.  I have been there before, with a Tauck Tour and I know them all, feet, donkey cart and camel ride.  I was able to explain the site and she left with a better understanding.

After I left the desk, Elvon and I worked out in the gym and went to Dick Healing’s talk in the Wajang theater.  Dick and Dick Yetke, served in the US Coast Guard.  What most of us do not know, is that the Coast Guard has been deployed overseas in every major conflict since its inception in 1879.  Dick’s war was Vietnam and his talk was timely and fascinating.  Our table went to the Vietnamese dinner in the Pinnacle, and it was truly delicious.

On March 9, 2016, in Phu My (Ho Chi Minh City), Vietnam, I left Elvon sleeping, with a nice tray from room service, and went to the Queen’s Lounge for the shuttle to Saigon, where I planned to do some serious shopping.  I had a couple of partners from the group, Bobbie Reilly-Schmidt and Joan Harrison.  The roads are a lot better than they were last year and the shuttle made it in record time, like an hour and a quarter, instead of the advertized two hours.  We were dropped off at a new office tower, with a mall, with banks in it.  I used an ATM, while Bobbie and Joan changed money in a real bank, with real tellers, where you got approved in one place and got your money in another.  It was new and clean, and you got to sit down to do your business, so that worked for us.

Then we set off on the ten minute walk to the market, through the streets of downtown Saigon.  The traffic isn’t nearly as bad as it was one and two years ago.  The new highway must be relieving the city core, too.  Crossing the street is a little daunting, with all the motorcycles, but we soon found out that following Joan was a good plan.  She was the slowest of us, but she was fearless.  She just set out, never varied her pace and never looked back.  Bobbie and I just fixed our eyes on her back and followed.

I have long since learned to just use the government stores in the market, for the quickest, easiest shopping.  You might pay a bit more, but they have more choice, all in one place.  I got a nice embroidered duvet cover and pillow shams, for about $40, and a whole bunch of clothes.  By one, we were done and ready for a nice lunch.  I had noticed the Majestic Hotel on the map the shuttle had given us, and it was very near where we would be taking the shuttle back.

Built in the 20s, it’s a grande dame, with fabulous stained glass and chandeliers.  I knew the food would be good, as we had had a cooking class there in one of our previous go-arounds.   There were a few other ladies we recognized from the ship there, too, but it wasn’t crowded at all.  It’s probably because it was at least three times as expensive as the restaurants on the streets.  We didn’t care.  We were ready to pay for ambience and good authentic Vietnamese food, that we knew was safe to eat.  The Majestic delivered all that and a couple of local beers, too.  It was excellent.  It was a good day, and a good evening, too.  The Scottish MacDonald Brothers provided good entertainment.

 Back at sea on March 10, it was business as usual at the desk.  At the request of Paul, the Culinary Ops Manager, and Jacques, the Cellar Master, I have been putting together a wine tour, out of Livorno.  I have a good connection in Tuscany, thanks to having rented a very large villa there for last summer.  I got it all planned and costed and ready to take to Nyron, the Shore Excursions Manager.  We wanted him to bless it and put HAL’s liability umbrella over it, as it would be a crew tour.  So I gave it all to Nyron and he said he would take care of it.  They have a new tour operator in Italy.  Nyron will ask them to address it.

The ship has announced an Art Auction to benefit a charity in Sri Lanka.  I wonder if they’d like our phisherman.  In the afternoon, I finally got some time to work on this log.  I had a lot of catching up to do.  There was a production show tonight, called “Dance”, we like those.

Since I had never been to Cambodia before, I invested in a tour of Sihanoukville and environs, for March 11.  I hooked up with Pauline, from Bobbie, Dan, Alan and Lynn’s table.  She was a lovely tour companion.

Our guide, Vicheth, gave us a short history of Cambodia on the way out.  It was French for 90 years up to 1953, when it gained independence.  It’s a monarchy, with elections, and the current king has no heir.  The ruling party is the Khmer Rouge.  He said the people have no rights.  It is interesting that he seems to have the right to talk about it, though.  The majority of the people are Buddhist, with a large Hindu influence, like Bali.  The economy runs on textiles, rice, paper, rubber, timber, tobacco, etc.  They have labor problems, because wages are low and many. many people go to other countries for better pay.  This is particularly true of the well-educated.  I was again floored when I heard him say: “Many people earn money from corruption.”

And, sadly, they are still clearing land mines.  And, there are not too many well-educated, as the Khmer Rouge disposed of most of them in the killing fields.  They had to completely rebuild the education system.  They go to school for nine years, in Khmer.  Parents who can afford it send their kids to English or French private schools at night.  They still have to bring in skilled professionals, like engineers and doctors, from abroad.  They desperately need teachers.  There is no health, accident or property insurance, but I did see a Manulife building.  There are no pensions.  The new generation just takes care of its old.

We stopped to visit the market in Kampot, a town of 20,000.  It was a very basic market.  Then we visited a pepper plantation, and a fishing village and went to a very nice lunch.  I made a proper piglet of myself, because many of our American tourists, won’t touch an unpeeled shrimp with its head still on.  It’s a pity, as they were some of the freshest I had ever had, and had a yummy dipping sauce.  Most people had none or one.  I had about fifteen.  There was a hot, spicy soup, cuttle fish, veggies, a whole fish, etc.  I was in hog heaven.  They even gave us a nice beer to wash it down.

We visited a school and a temple and walked a beach, where we all paid a dollar to take this photo.  On the way back, Vicheth told us about Pol Pot, and how he had been educated in Paris, reading Marx and Lenin.  He became second in command to Ho Chi Minh, when South Vietnam was supposed to be given to Cambodia.  Interesting.  Sihanouk, after whom the city is named, was the much-loved first ruler.  He was responsible for Cambodia’s gaining its independence from France.  The current king is his youngest son.  I guess Vicheth, figured he had gotten to know us, because in the last hour, he shared his personal story, and how most of his family had died in the Pol Pot years, one and two at a time.  He had been a baby and somehow the remaining family members managed to protect him.  But, it was gruesome, and very, very sad.

Annie Gong, on the accordion, was the show.  Somehow I liked her better last years.  Some acts are only good once.

I had a message on my phone last night to take my “wonderful Balinese carving” to the art auction at eleven o’clock, so I did that just before I went to my desk on March 12, a sea day.  He wasn’t rejected, but put out with the rest of the art created on board or purchased on shore, like mine.

A couple stopped by to talk about Singapore options and what to do in Phuket.  That one is always a mystery to me, as in five stops there, the ship has only docked in the same place twice.  Another passenger came to talk about Singapore.  He’s a photographer, so I sent him to Jurong Bird Park, one of my favorite places, the Gardens by the Bay, and on the night Safari.

Dan stopped by to invite us to a cabin party he was having tonight.  Since it’s Saturday, we are committed to Happy Hour.  Bad timing, Dan.  He’s one of our regulars, too.  Donna Kasprick signed up to join is in Little India.  I never got to the auction, because I had a letter to write and deliver, and I at least wanted it printed before we went to the gym.

So, I did that, and took Elvon to the gym.  There we met Della Senchuk, one of my alumnae, who was there when I put the phisherman into the auction.  She reported that he had gone for $70, with a competition at the end.  It’s a good thing I didn’t go up.  I might have spoiled the outcome.  I don’t feel bad about wasting $25 at all, now, when a good cause made $70.

Thanks to Dan’s cabin party, there were only ourselves and one other couple at Happy Hour.  That was just fine.  We got to know them better.  The entertainment was Rich Shydner, and he was very, very good.  I don’t think he’ll go stale either.  His material is all very timely.

March 13 was almost a sea day, as we were due to arrive in Singapore at 6:00 pm, so I went to the desk.  I got an email that confirmed me as the host on Celebrity Silhouette, going around the British Isles in August.  That’s great.  There was a lot of traffic at my desk, talking about Singapore and pouring over my maps.

I took Elvon with me to the gym, and then out to the deck, to lounge there, while I answered emails, and worked on my log a bit.  At 6:00 pm, we docked and I turned on my phone.  There were a bunch of texts from Dave Lasker.  The Laskers and Levertons were on the Crystal Serenity at the next dock.  Unfortunately, they were leaving, just as we were docking.  So near and yet so far.   I got a very wet arm waving from deck three in the pouring rain.

I wanted Elvon to come for Chinese Food in Vivo Centre, where there are a number of good places for Chinese Food.  He didn’t want to budge off the ship.  I wanted him to come to Little India tomorrow, so we settled on getting good Chinese take-out and eating it up in the Sea View Bar, an open area, on Deck 8, Aft.

It turned out to be a very good thing he didn’t come.  It’s a long way in to Harbour Centre and over to Vivo Centre, only to find its escalators to the third floor are broken.  There were doubtless lifts somewhere, but I didn’t bother looking, since Elvon wasn’t with me.  I just climbed the broken escalators, like everyone else.  In this case, that included hundreds of knee bangers.  Those are just a couple of years older than rug rats, with more energy and propulsion.  Elvon would have been terrified, at a minimum, and it might have been worse.  They were all over the place, probably because it was Sunday night.  That’s maid’s day off in HK and S’pore, and everyone eats out.  For parents with small children, a mall kills a few birds with one stone, you see.  I found Paradise Seafood, and ordered some nice Shanghai food for a $32 S’pore dollars, maybe $23 to me.

I got it back to the ship as fast as I could, mustered Elvon, and we went up on deck.  The rain had stopped, it was a beautiful evening, and our Chinese food was delicious.  Annie Francis sang songs from the 70s and she was great.

By the time I left the ship, the next day, everyone had canceled out of Little India, except for the Westcotts and Kaspricks.  They were all wearing themselves out in Singapore, but they were tired and happy.  I found the Fish Spa, booked for tomorrow, and used their Internet for two hours.  Fifty minutes of it was a call to Susan at home.  We tried to use Viber, but the Internet wasn’t that good, and we could only hear about 10%.  So, she called me, US number to US number. I don’t know what it cost for her end, but mine was $114.  It was wonderful, but not something you would do every day.

I went back to the ship around three, picked up Elvon, and we took a taxi to Banana Leaf Apolo, an Indian restaurant, right in the Little India Arcade (48 Sarangoon St.)  Our cabbie was a second generation Singaporean, who loves his life and his city.  His father had ten kids.  He owned his own house and every kid got one when he or she got married.  That’s how it works here.  The state provides.  His daughter just got married and she got a house, too.  Anyone, who is Singaporean born, has it made.  He admits they have a lot of rules and regulations, but firmly believes that’s what keeps the peace.  All races and religions live in harmony here, following those rules and regulations.

I texted Dee when we got there and the Westcotts set out to join us.  They are staying at the Marriott, for the WiFi. I got Elvon settled in Banana Leaf, and we each had a chai and a Haagen Das.  The Westcotts arrived.  Wells joined Elvon, and Dee and I went off to do some serious damage in Bobby Pebbles’ shop, LotusMantra.  We paid about three times what Linda McMillan and I had paid in Jew Town, Cochin, for the equivalent, but we aren’t going to India this year, so we sucked it up.  We bought about ten pieces between us, got about 10% off and a free necklace each, and we love our new clothes.  We also found some fun sandals, bindi, hair toys, etc.  The Kaspricks arrived and we had a very fine Indian dinner.  It was a good night.

 

 

My next assignment is Celebrity Silhouette, August 6, 14-Night British Isles Cruise, Amsterdam to Amsterdam.  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.  Better yet, call Becky Jones and book it, telling her you are my client –  210-745-0124.  See the itinerary and approximate pricing at http://www.cruisepro.biz/search/enter.asp?site=X1952&dir=OfferCompare&MyOffers=3975684&B2CQuickView=1&account=Helen+Megan,+HelenMegan@aol.com

The excitement was really building on March 1.  The last of the Hong Kong preparations was to finish and deliver instructions to participants on how to get to the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club and/or their respective Dim Sum restaurants.  That, and a lot of finalization, and work on travel business that was going to be otherwise neglected.  Once we hit HongKong, it would be non stop. I finalized everything for our HoiAn Cooking Class, too, as it would be right after Hong Kong and I won’t be working any more than I can help these next three days.  Opera Interludes performed again and were good, again.

 We sailed in to Ocean Terminal on March 2, at 10:00 am.  We had plenty of time for our Lido breakfast and time in the gym.  I went out and checked the location of the nearest exit to a taxi, and it was right where it was last year, the Marco Polo Hotel on Canton Road.  I met Marsha Rankin on the way and learned there was an Apple store on Canton Road, too.  I filed this information away, although I was planning to use the Marco Polo’s bar for Internet.  It was closer and the bartender was friendly and told me when it would be quiet.

At 2:00 pm, we met Wells and Dee Westcott, and made our way to our taxi to the yacht club.  I forgot to tell the taxi driver we only wanted the old Harbor tunnel, and he took us through the new Western Tunnel, which is marginally faster, but twice the distance and has a toll to boot.  It cost $258 HK.  I didn’t tip much.

We got my Canadian credit card squared away to cover the bill, settled Elvon in the Chart Room, and made for the Ship Shop, where we did some damage, but have very nice fleece jackets, should it get cold crossing the Atlantic.  Back in the chart room, the Internet was blazing fast, as we were happy to text to Jan Yetke.  Unfortunately, they were having a wine tasting that night in the Chart Room, so we got kicked out of there around 4:30.  We ended up in a teeny, tiny little room, just off it, where it was very cozy, but the Internet was still blazing fast.  It got cozier when the Yetkes and Healings got there, but we all got a ton of work done.  We were well pleased.

By this time, Elvon and Wells were in the Sailors’ Bar, where they were soon joined by HK friend, John Ball.  Eventually, the whole party assembled, including a dozen or so Hong Kong people and we repaired to the Compass Room, upstairs, for dinner.  The Compass Room is round, with picture windows on the Hong Kong harbor.  It’s a beautiful place to eat.  The food is good, too, and reasonably priced.  A very good time was had by all.  Elvon’s table included his Manulife successor, Vic Apps, and his wife, Leona, two of his Branch Managers, Kinson Leung, my twin, Danny Chan, and the Yetkes.   Mine had the Westcotts and Healings, Michael Holt and old Mensa Friends, Don Meyer and Cindy Kwok.  The third table included John Ball, Elvon’s old PR guy, Marcia Snow, Bob Miller and Marlies Baehr, Dan Samaniego, and Simon and Delia Clennell.  Simon is a Mensan, too, and a member of the Hong Kong Welsh Male Voices, who were sorely missed on the ship.  We were glad to have him at the YC, though.

We took the last taxi back, with Don Meyer and Cindy Kwok.  She insisted on the Harbour Tunnel and the taxi came to $85HK.  I gave him a hundred, and Cindy was shocked.  She had not been in the first one or it wouldn’t have been $258.  Our troubles started when we got out of the taxi.  Dan Samaniego and Michael Hold had waited for us, because the passage through the Marco Polo to the ship was closed.  It was dependent on Lane Crawford being open, and they had closed at ten.  We all walked around the hotel, where the doors to Ocean Terminal were open, but they were on the second floor.  Michael found someone, who called someone, who sent someone, who led us to the elevator, and called someone, to send someone with the key.  We got back to the cabin about one-thirty, and it was worth every minute.  What a night!

I left Elvon sound asleep, on the morning of March 3, with a room service breakfast on the table.  I didn’t expect him to get up for hours, after last night.  I met up with my haircut partners, and we made for the Star Ferry.  It’s a lovely ride on the upper deck for $2.50 HK, about 35 cents to us.  We took pictures, like everybody else.  We walked to the Mandarin, which is a longer walk than it was in my day, thanks to land fill and new buildings, like the IFC.  I talked my way across, dispensing whatever HK lore popped into my head, prompted by what I saw, and, of course, the questions of my little audience.

When we got there, we hit the Mandarin’s concierge up for the best downtown map available, and I pointed Bob to where he might find electronics, cameras, etc.  Andrea Clark, the Artistic Director, and Salon Manager, was waiting for us.  She had cut Wendy Harvey’s hair last time.  This time, she cut mine, while Ronald did Joanne’s and Bobbie had her streaks touched up to hide new growth.  We all love the shampoo process there, it’s divine.  At 11:15 am, it was Bobbie and Marlies’ turn under the scissors, and Joanne and Chas and I went out shopping in the lanes.  Once I showed them where and what, we split up, because it’s a solitary endeavor, that.  I got a few things, the very best being a fake iWatch, with an orange band.  I now wish I had bought it in every color, as it gets a lot of compliments, and I haven’t seen another since.  All it does is tell time, but that’s all I want out of a watch.

At 1:30 pm, we reconvened in The Clipper Lounge, on the rail, overlooking The Mandarin’s busy lobby.  I had a dim sum box, but most everyone else had burgers or reubens, and such like.  David Pong stopped by to pay me $3200 US, in cash, for his annual Screaming Eagle order.  The three bottles are resting in their box in the cellar at 301 Deer Hollow.  They will end up in an auction in Hong Kong, raising money for charity.  Even David doesn’t just drink them any more.

Most of the lunch bunch elected to proceed to Stanley Markey, and I didn’t argue, as, had Elvon and I not had a dinner date, I would have gone, too.  As it was, I shopped a little more in Central, utilitarian stuff, like plastic file folders.   They have now made it to the States but are still 20 times the price.  Then I popped down the MTR on DesVoeux, figuring it would save me some walking.  I don’t think it did.  You do a lot of walking underground in the Hong Kong subway.

I stopped by the information desk in the mall on the way back and found out how to cope with an after hours arrival with a handicapped person.  It took a bit of doing, but I learned that you are to drive past the Marco Polo, in the inland direction, turn left at the end of the mall, and left again to drive along the pier.  Near the ship there is a freight elevator and someone will take you up in it.

When I got back to the room, around 4:00pm, Elvon was still in bed, still in his nightshirt.  He had eaten his breakfast and gone back.  Coping with getting in and out of Ocean Terminal really took the stuffing out of him.  I mustered him and got him dressed for dinner.  Alwin Lam was picking us up at six at the Marco Polo, again.  We made it on time, and so did Alwin.  He had commandeered his AIA car and its driver, Sonny.  I think Elvon’s old 2IC at Manulife HK gets a little chuckle out of that.  I know I do.  Alwin joined AIA, in the nineties, after we had left, and still holds an advisory position.

We drove to Deep Water Bay and the Hong Kong Country Club.  We were having dinner with Alwin, Agnes, daughter Jackie Tung, her son, Maximillian, Edmund Tse and his wife Peggy, and Harry Wong, one of Elvon’s Manulife Branch Managers, back in the day.  Edmund used to head up AIA and the HK Federation of Insurers, a board Elvon was on.  I sat between Edmund and Peggy, and found her thoroughly delightful.  The whole table was thoroughly delightful, a good time with good old friends.

And the food!  When Alwin invites you to dinner, it’s a Chinese Banquet.  We had Peking Duck, two ways, Sharks’ Fin, Crab in the shell with Ginger and Shallots, Deep Fried Shrimp, a fish and pork stir fry, sweet and sour pork, a whole Steamed Fish, pork & rice porridge, fried rice, and more I can’t remember.  Alwin had a birthday coming up while he was going to be off island, so we had birthday cake, too.  Urp.  The wine served generously throughout was none other than Far Niente Chardonnay, a nod to Elvon, which he much appreciated.

Alwin came back to Ocean Terminal with us, and we told him last night’s horror story on the way.  I added my afternoon’s research.  Alwin and Sonny were up to taking care of it.  The hard part is talking yourselves past the gate to the pier, which has pretty heavy security.  The key elements were our ship cards and Alwin and Sonny’s fluency in Cantonnese.  I’ll bet it didn’t hurt that the car had official AIA plates, a professional driver, and an executive with the demeanor of a loban (big boss).  Alwin has many years of practice at that.

The car got through and drove up to the stern of the ship.  Out of the building on our left, popped a Holland America Steward, with the elevator key.  It was so easy.  We probably saved an hour of sleep.  Thanks, Alwin and Agnes, for a fabulous night.

On our last day in Hong Kong, we got up, had a cup of tea, went to the gym, and met our people at my desk at 11:15 am.  Our group was going to Ye Shanghai, in the Marco Polo Hotel.  I would never have got Elvon out the third day in a row, if I could not promise him wonderful Hong Kong friends.  We had Lloyd Chao, Helen Pakchung, Mabel Lam, Ray Wong and John Ball.  Ship friends were Marcia Ball, Michael Holt, Wells and Dee Westcott.  It cost twice as much as Jade Garden, but was well worth it.

After lunch, Elvon was more than happy to go back to the room for a nap, while I put the computer on my back and set out to do some work.  I made for that nice bar in the lobby of the Marco Polo.  I bought my Coke and got my WiFi password.  The Internet connection was terrible.  It was worse than the ship.  Who would have believed this in Hong Kong?  After a half hour, with little progress, I cut bait and made for the Apple Store up Canton Road.

I talked to one of the dozens of helpful Apple employees on the ground floor, and was directed to the basement, where I would be able to sit to work.  It was fun down there.  I was easily three times the age of the next oldest person in the place.  He would have been the father if the one year old, who was learning how to use a computer, with a lot of success, I might add.  Most of the rest were students using the blazing fast Internet to do their homework.  I did a lot of catching up until I figured I had better start hoofing it back to the ship.  We weren’t leaving until ten, but all aboard was seven and dinner was at eight.  It was an interesting walk through the mall, and I picked up another bit, but I really did have to run.  It had been a wonderful three days in Hong Kong, my old home city.  We watched the sail away from the dining room and went to bed.

Back at sea on March 5, I got up early to work on a wine tour in Livorno for Paul Kerr, Culinary Ops Manager and Jacques Loew, Cellar Master.  The idea was to put it together and present it to Shore Excursions for blessing and liability umbrella.  I had got Patrick Spencer, my Tuscany villa supplier to work on it.  Now I need to put it together in presentable form, with pricing, etc.  I also had a newsletter to write, which follows, as we were going out on tour in Hoi An, tomorrow.

Marcia came to report on her date at the Hong Kong Club with John Ball.  She had had a wonderful time, except her Southern manners were severely inflamed when John berated the taxi driver for insisting on the Western Tunnel.  He has lived in HK for 30 years and wasn’t about to be taken, for, and as, a tourist.  I guess John got a lot firmer than Marcia could take.  The taxi driver’s reaction was to dump them back at the Hong Kong Club.  Luckily it’s close to the Star Ferry, so they walked there and took it back to the ship.  Not the greatest end to a fine evening, but she wasn’t sorry she had gone.  It was a memorable experience all around.

Molly Wallace came by the desk just to chat, as did Michael Holt, who stayed and helped me collate the letters, which ran to two sheets of paper, because of the bus lists. I got them all delivered in the early afternoon, and took Elvon to the gym.

The entertainment was one of our favorites, Soul Mystique.  They are dancers and quick-change artists, from Australia.  We cannot, for the life of us, figure out how they change so fast.

On March 6, 2016, we docked in Da Nang, Vietnam.  I got up early and dressed for the weather, as printed in the ship’s “Today On Location”.  It stated a high of 73 degrees.  I dressed in jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a sweater.  We were meeting at 8:15 am in the Queen’s Lounge, so I got there at 7:45 am.  You can never be too early.  Somebody is always there first.  The people were showing up in shorts and T-shirts and I began to question my attire.  As soon as Michael and Gail arrived, I put them in charge and effected a five-minute quick change, including the trips to and from the cabin.  I guess I did learn something last night, after all.  And it was a very hot day.

We boarded our buses for the 45 minute drive to Hoi An.  Our guide told us that war-torn Da Nang was now the fifth largest city in Viet Nam and the best one to live in.  They have no homeless, subsidized schools and housing, decent wages by Vietnamese standards, and a wonderful beach to play on.  You would know it as “China Beach”.  The decent wage is about $200/month, so it’s a good thing they have subsidies.  Even so, the $200/month only supports one person, so everyone works.  There’s a lot of resort development going on.  If business takes off, the employment situation should boom.  For now, it’s still an agrarian economy. Vietnam has 93 million people and 40,000 million motor scooters.  Cars are very expensive, so they need to pay for themselves.

Hoi An is a lovely old city, with a river running through it.  It has capitalized on its charm, with a lot of tourist trade.  On our walk to and from the market, we saw a lot of clothes and such, that we would have wanted to buy, had we not been on forced march.  Some still snagged an item or two, and a few went back the next day.  A smart few, I would say, but that would have been with hindsight.

Not everyone wanted to walk to the market, so they stayed back at the restaurant to wait.  That kind of threw the tour off.  They broke us into groups of eight to go through the market, which was really nice, as eight people can learn a lot more from a guide than 28.  It did mean that we all arrived back at the cooking school/restaurant, at different times.  By the way, it was called “Morning Glory Street Food Restaurant and Cooking School.”  morningglorycookingschool@gmail.com

As soon as the folks at Morning Glory had the first 30 people back, they took them to the first floor up and started a class.  Since the chefs that I brought along with our unused tickets, all wanted to linger at the market, they were all in the second group.  My plan, duly communicated to Paul, the Culinary Ops Manager, was to have half the chefs in each group.  That had only extended to buses.  After that, we lost control, as I had no idea it was going to work like this.  We all expected one big class.

It turned out fine in the end, but a few people did miss having a chef beside them,  I had one and he was lovely to have.  Every two people had their own food supplies and gas burners.  This was serious. Lulu, the instructor who taught both classes was beyond excellent.  It also explains the staggered start.  While one class ate, the other learned and cooked.  The food was fabulous.  First we made fresh spring rolls.  Those are the ones with a raw rice paper wrapper.  They gave us each a deep fried mini roll to put in the middle, for crunch.  There are cooked noodles in there, too, and pork, shrimps, chives, mint, lettuce, flowers, chives, etc.  They were absolutely delicious.

We also made chicken and lime leaves, Banh Xeo, which is Vietnamese pancakes in rice paper, and was our favorite, and a mango and prawn salad.  The food was spectacular and any concerns, that anyone had, evaporated as we purred our way through it.  Yum, yum.  I heard a couple of people remark that they didn’t know they were such good cooks.

After lunch, we had a lovely relaxing ride on the Hoi An River, which ended in an old merchant house, a temple and a Japanese Covered Bridge tour and too long a walk to the buses, which were hard to find, to boot.  The less able bodied would have loved to have been able to skip that part, but the ones who could walk well really enjoyed it.  I got complaints that it had been mis-represented, but when you re-read the tour description, which I handed out the first day, and again the day before, the walking tour is well described.  I doubt as we could have done better.

The ship has an ongoing problem with this.  It’s not just our tours.  The Shore Excursions Manager and Location Guide re-iterate it constantly in their lectures.  The clientele is old, can’t do what it used to be able to do, and blames everyone else for it.  Interestingly, I got no formal complaints, except from one chronic complainer, who has a handicapped wife.  Most people said they loved the tour.  We’ll see what the evaluations bring.

March 7, 2016 was our second day in Da Nang, Vietnam.  I should have heeded a note I wrote to myself, to the effect that I should spend my second day at the Intercontinental Resort, where there was likely good WiFi.  But, I didn’t.  I was tired of chasing it.  I just used the ship’s and decided to go shopping.  I had broken my favorite sandals, beyond what glue and clamps could fix, and I figured this would be a good place to deal with that.

I didn’t get out any too early, as usual.  I caught the shuttle bus to the center of Da Nang, because that was easy and free.  There was a desk in the square and a couple of people dispensing advice.  I needed a shoemaker, the nearest ATM and the market.  They suggested a trishaw and I ended up with Chong, who was nice enough, English was good enough, and would take me to the shoemaker’s and market for 100 dong, about $5.  First we went to the bank, where my trusty Royal Bank of Canada ATM card couldn’t get me a dime.  I had a rather lengthy call with Heather in Toronto, where it was 1:30 am.  She said nothing was coming through that she could see and that I would see no charges.  While she was on the line, I went through it one more time, with the same result, and then tried Bank of America, which came through with 2 million dong.

Chong found me a shoemaker, who was just working right there on the street.  He offered to resole my sandals with a motorcycle tire in half an hour for $10.  OK with me.  We left them there and pulled out into traffic again.  I am a nervous passenger in these little vehicles.  We went to the local market, which was the kind I liked.  It had everything under the sun, all in a jumble, from fast food to school uniforms.  Chong had a bit of lunch while I browsed, looking for pantaloons and long shirts.  It was too local a market and I found absolutely nothing.  They didn’t have any fake iWatches, either.  We made a lot of inquiries, with Chong translating, and finally he told me he thought he knew a shop that had what I wanted.  Sure enough, there were ten or so of my ship mates, all delivered by the likes of Chong.  Things I had paid $7 for in Saigon last year were going for $40.  Bargaining seemed to be a non-starter, too, so I gave up and asked Chong to take me back.  I ended up giving him $25, and did not feel I got my money’s worth, but it wasn’t that much to me, and I do have my sandals back.

Sailaway was fun and so was juggler Tempei, later in the evening.

 

 

My next assignment is Celebrity Silhouette, August 6, 14-Night British Isles Cruise, Amsterdam to Amsterdam.  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.  Better yet, call Becky Jones and book it, telling her you are my client –  210-745-0124.  See the itinerary and approximate pricing at http://www.cruisepro.biz/search/enter.asp?site=X1952&dir=OfferCompare&MyOffers=3975684&B2CQuickView=1&account=Helen+Megan,+HelenMegan@aol.com

On February 23, in Benoa (Denpasar), Bali, Indonesia, we had one of Made’s wonderful taxis.  Our plan was similar to the Westcotts and Healings, only we were to start an hour and a half later, and do less touring before lunch.  Dee had booked Made and we had Wayan.  Made, being the boss, had got there much earlier than Wayan, with the result that his car was so boxed in, by the rest of the taxis, that it would have taken at least a half-hour to get it out.  He sent the Westcotts and Healings off with Wayan and waited for us.  Our plan was to go pretty much straight to the restaurant at the volcano.  We only stopped in one place, to photograph the UNESCO rice terrace project.  I don’t know how much it has really done for rice-growing in the country, but it’s very picturesque and a whole bunch of shops have sprung up near the viewing platform.  I scored $7 pantaloons, all in the same pattern, but six different colorways.

We had some rain on the way up the mountain, and a storm seemed to be threatening, but it cleared as we got near the top.  By this time Made had contacted Wayan and established that we were now the lead car, and would save places in the restaurant.  On the way in, we were approached by a couple of vendors.  One of them had a particularly nice carving of a fisherman for sale.  I examined it closely and liked the quality of the work, and the grain of the wood, with its carefully applied coat of varnish.  He wanted $100 US.  He had come down to $50 by the time we entered the restaurant, without buying it, but it was obvious we had some interest.  Why, I do not know, as we already have an Asian sculpture museum at home.

We scored a couple of tables on the terrace overlooking the volcano, and I got some interesting pictures before the storm hit.  The other car arrived in the pouring rain.  The terrace was sheltered enough for us to stay there for lunch, and it was interesting, with the thunderstorm going on.  It cleared enough for Dee to get a couple of pictures, and the food was delicious.  Made and Wayan ate with us and we learned more about the way they live.  Those spotless SUVs they drive, don’t come out unless they are making money.  They get around on motor scooters, with their wives and a couple of kids, just like everybody else.  Made has a family farm, too.  So does Eka, our dining room steward.

By the time we were leaving the restaurant, it was pouring again, and there were a lot more vendors at the door, selling not just carvings, but pencils, postcards, and miscellaneous chotzkies, too.  It was slippery underfoot and getting Elvon to the car, no matter how close Made brought it, was a challenge.  In the middle of all this, my fisherman carving vendor came down to $25 and I bought.  He wrapped it up nicely in paper and plastic to keep the rain off and gave it to me as I got into the car.  The road drops off on both sides, we were riding the caldera of a hopefully extinct volcano.

We stopped by the batik factory on the way back, got Elvon a great green shirt, and just made the ship.  It was an A+ day, until I unwrapped the phisherman.  It wasn’t the same one, by a long patch.  The carving was much rougher and the varnish had become a coat of dark brown paint.  There’s no way I’ll be paying the freight to get the thing moved across the country, when we dock in Fort Lauderdale.  . So my $25 purchase, instead of being a great bargain, was a total loss. We’ll go to a proper carving store next time. I should have known better.

Oranges from Eka’s farm were special at our table and the entertainment was excellent, Vincenzo, a Latin and Spanish guitarist.

The next day, the people, who had Made’s third car. came by the desk to tell me how much they loved their driver, Gede, and their tour yesterday.  Made has a good thing going there.  Too bad the Amsterdam comes only once a year, but word will spread.  I am spreading it here.  madeseneng_a@yahoo.com  If I had decent Internet, I’d put him up on Trip Advisor.  When I do, I will.

I did a lot of concierge work and made a few birthday cards, now that my computer is behaving so well.  I am catching up.  It’s a good thing, because Hong Kong and Singapore will set me straight back.  They are supposed to.  That’s what world travel is all about.

The entertainment was Pete Cutler, a song and dance man, and we liked him.

On February 25, we docked in Semarang, Java, Indonesia.  After time in the gym with Elvon, I set out for the mall.  It’s a familiar one and has one good store for batik.  I bought Elvon a nice brown shirt, but nothing for myself.  There wasn’t any decent Internet, so I shuttled back to the terminal, where there was.  I sat next to Romeo, our wine steward, for the Indonesian version of a rock concert.  All we wanted was the free Internet, which was pretty good.  Just before all aboard, I bought Elvon another shirt for a small fraction of the first one.  It’s not real batik, but it looks pretty good for under ten bucks.

I hopped back on board and mustered Elvon for sailaway, one of his favorite activities.  We joined a couple of our people and more joined us.  It was good fun, if a tad too early, at 3:30pm.  We had a nap before dinner.  The entertainment was “Opera Interludes” and they were very good.

February 26, found us docked in Tanjung Priok, Jakarta, Indonesia.  I will never bother to shuttle in to Jakarta.  The traffic is some of the most miserable on earth.  I did spend a little time in the pier market and more Internet catching up.  I had business to do, too.  I am booking a group of 24 for Alaska in 2017.  It’s fun on board in these ports, as many crew family members visit the ship.  Flautist Clare Langan was good, too.

We crossed the Equator, again, on February 27, but didn’t bother to kiss the fish.  No need for that much of a good thing.  I went to my desk.  People are getting serious about Hong Kong, now, and plans are shaping up, both for those who will be coming ashore with me and those just wanting advice.  HKTB did deliver the brochures in Semarang and I recorded that fact in today’s newsletter, so my people could come and get them.

I finalized all the restaurant and friend bookings that I could.  It’s an iterative process.  One couple wants to visit the GeoPark and I don’t know much about it, so I added that to an email to HK friends who will be joining us.  Someone will come up with a good suggestion for them.

I printed and delivered my letters and spent quite a bit of time with the Future Cruise Consultants.  It was Saturday, so we went to happy hour, dinner and Pingxin Xu, the Hammer Dulcimer Master.  He’s very good, but you sure see a lot of him at sea.

 At the desk, at sea, on February 28, I booked the last haircut at the Mandarin.  Her boyfriend wanted to tag along.  This was the second such request, so, I gave up.  The girls’ outing won’t have the same flavor, but we’ll still get our hair cut and lunch at the Clipper Lounge, which is always fun.  I dispensed more HK information as I worked on logistics for RHKYC.  Logistics for me, usually means something, in writing, that people can follow.  I started working on the letters, which I would publish and deliver on March 1. We had a dinner in the Pinnacle, which was a lot of fun.  We missed the show, though, as there was only one and it came in the middle of dinner.

Still at sea on February 29, Dee Westcott showed up at the desk with a USB stick full of the most glorious pictures taken scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef.  What a fabulous addition to my screen saver.  She also wanted to recommend, and have me record, Peter Yealands’ winery near Picton, NZ.  It leaves no carbon footprint at all.  Put it on the list for next time we stop in Picton.  Other than that, the day was pretty uneventful and I was able to finalize almost everything for Hong Kong and sell some travel, too.  We had a production show that night “Rock at the Opera”.  It was great.

 

 

I took a quick look at the details of my next assignment, in Singapore.  It’s Celebrity Silhouette, August 6, 14-Night British Isles Cruise and it isn’t London to London, as I had hoped.  It’s Amsterdam to Amsterdam.  So, if we want to see plays in London, we’ll have to take a plane or train over there, on the way in or out.  That’s not so hard.  Who wants to come with us?  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.

We pick up our story on February 16, in Cairns, Australia.  Nicola, the IT Manager, loved the idea of the 20GB-1TB machine, and so did I, but I am not buying a machine out here in the world, where the power supply is different and the warranty might not take.  Amazon is selling that one for an OEM that takes the biggest machine ASUS makes and soups it up.  It will probably be my next computer but I want to buy it in the States, even if I have to have it delivered to the ship, unless I really cannot help it.

So after breakfast and gym with Elvon, I set out with my computer and power supply.  The helpful lady at the dock told me to take a taxi to Cairns Centre Mall and the J.B. WiFi store.  The taxi rank was empty, but Stan and Marilyn were just pulling up in a cab.  They saw me and had him stop right at my feet.  I thanked them and hopped in.  The next thing I saw was Jan Yetke and another gal, calling a taxi.  They had been commissioned by the ship to buy wool for the Linus project.  I took them on and they kept the taxi, after it dropped me at the mall, and I paid them half what it would have cost me.

J.B. WiFi sold every brand of computer you have ever seen and a few you have not.  I found Scott, a funny, fat, bearded techie, around fifty.  He was great.  He couldn’t test my power supply, but he broke open one of the universal ones and hit the right tip on his first guess.  It’s positively ludicrous how many there are.  The world standards committee, whoever they are these days, needs to deal with this, but, in the meantime, I had Scott.  For a hundred Aussie dollars, I have a nasty, heavy, power supply, with a pound of plug on the end, an enormous plug adaptor, that’s also a USB charger, and 11 spare tips that likely do not fit anything I will ever own.  Never mind, it supplies power to the computer and seems to be solid as a rock.  He also told me not to waste my time with the WiFi in this mall because it sucked.  I should go to Orchard Plaza, just like Marsha recommended.  It’s closer to the ship, too.

My computer hopped on to the Internet and did its business, plenty of it.  I had Wells’ computer with me, too, because I wanted the AOL Desktop for it, just in case.  Here’s where it got spooky.  The Internet told Wells’ computer it had already used up its two hours and could come back tomorrow.  Sure enough, Wells had been in that mall, but with a different computer.  How did it know that this was his, too?  It has to be Microsoft…I just kept working on the backlog on my own computer, which was running fine.  When I thought to look at the time, I had less than twenty minutes before all aboard.  I packed up the two computers and Elvon’s Kindle and hoofed it back to the ship on the double, making it with five minutes to spare.

It was a nice sailaway, with Alan and Lynn, Dan, Bobbie, Michael and Wells, who was waiting for Dee, whose dive tour was late coming back.  That’s where I found out Wells had been on the web in Orchard Plaza.  When Dee arrived, we also found out that Donna Kasprick had made her 100^th dive, with Dee as her dive partner.  There’s none finer.  Dee has over 2500 dives and takes fabulous underwater pictures.  The event has been recorded for posterity.

The entertainment was Dale Kristien, the West End’s long running star of Phantom.  She was wonderful.

The next day, when we were cruising the Great Barrier Reef, Donna stopped by my desk with Dee’s picture of her on her hundredth dive.  She had already told her son, who was sad not to have been her dive partner for it.  Dee texted him a beautifully worded message that covered the situation and then some, classy gal, our Dee.  Connie and Jim came to pick up their power supply and I was pleased to report that they could now keep it, I had a better fit, and I now owned it.

Lynn & Alan stopped by to book a Pinnacle Dinner and have a chat as did Marcia.  We were all interested in what Blanc de Blanc at the Sydney Opera House was, and Marcia had been.  It turned out it was all singing, all dancing, tassels, contortions,  acrobatics, nudity, the ultimate in adult entertainment.  The Sydney Opera House?

Marsha Rankin came to say that Jake, the Fitness Instructor, was killing her, but she had lost twenty-one pounds and her back hurt a lot less.  You don’t see her with her walker much, anymore.  Wells and Dee Westcott celebrated their 35^th wedding anniversary in the back room in The Pinnacle and we were honored to have been invited.  It was a lovely party.

We were still Cruising the Great Barrier Reef on February 18.  I had some time to work, but I also had a presentation to prepare.  It was just Kathy and Mike at the table with us, which was nice for a change.  The entertainment was Greg Andrew doing a tribute to Elton John.  We’ll give that one a miss next time.

At sea on February 19, I solved a bunch of problems at the desk, one of which involved Bali.  Made Seneng, a former HAL dining room steward, runs a little business out of Denpasar.  His drivers are all friends, mostly ex-HAL employees, and they speak good English.  I emailed madeseneng_a@yahoo.com  for two cars, one for us and one for the Cohen party.  Dee Westcott had already got her own.

The Old Time Radio Show was fun.  There were eight of us.  Some did not hear well, and missed a lot of the jokes, but it was still a fun, raucous, evening, and the food was very good.  We got out in time to catch a second helping of Patrick Murray and Matilda, too.  I love that dummy!

February 20, we were docked in Darwin, Australia.  Elvon and I had breakfast in the Lido, worked out in the gym, and I tried to use the onboard Internet to avoid taking the computer off again.  It was ridiculously slow, even in port, so I logged out and loaded the thing into my backpack.  The Darwin Hilton provided good WiFi in its bar, another day in a nice city, sacrificed to the call of duty.  Doc Gisella Schlosser and her SOB (spouse on board), Chas Stutz, had been out on their bikes in a bag.  I met them in the terminal.  They were coming to our table tonight and, since it was Saturday, I invited them to happy hour in the Crow’s nest, too.  It was a good one, Dan Samaniego came, as did the Laurins, Healings and Westcotts.  Everyone enjoyed the Doc and Chas.  The entertainment was a movie, which we gave a miss, so I could get up early and work on my Hong Kong presentation.

So, the next day, I got up an hour early and finalized the slides and handout for Hong Kong. Gail Janney was at my desk when I opened.  She was upset and announced she was getting off at the next port.  She has glaucoma in her right eye, and something happened when the photographer’s flash went off back in Panama.  It has been steadily getting worse since then, to the point where she is all but blind in the eye and very, very concerned.  She came for advice on how to arrange her travel.  I told her she would have to get our Doc on board to write a letter explaining why it was necessary to fly back and/or to put the doc in contact with her insurance company.  If she ever wants to see a dime of their money for travel costs, they have to know before the travel is started.  They would probably help her book it, too.  It would also be good to have a professional opinion on whether flying would be okay or whether it might cause further damage.  She decided to wait a day or two, as we are at sea, and try to get an opinion.  I offered to put an appeal out in the newsletter I was writing today, and I did.

I finished the newsletter, delivered it, and retired to the promenade deck with Elvon and a bunch of Hong Kong brochures.  My talk is tomorrow.  We did go to the show at ten, though, it was another production number, and we like those a lot.

Since I was speaking at 4:00 pm, I went over my talk in the cabin before going to my desk.  It’s a good thing I did, because it was a very busy desk.  It usually is when I have just published a newsletter.

Thirty-two people came to my talk on Hong Kong and walked away with maps and handouts.  The HKTB stuff was two years old, because the shipment I had expected in Sydney never arrived.  I had put a tracer on it and am pretty sure it was Carnival’s fault, but that was no help.  I also re-ordered and expect fresh supplies from them in Indonesia.

Paul Adams, a comedian, was the show, and he was very, very funny.  It looks like he is making it up as he goes along, so his comedy is ever fresh.

 

I haven’t had time to pull the details of my next assignment.  If you want to check, it’s Celebrity Silhouette, August 6, 14-Night British Isles Cruise.  I gives us an opportunity to see plays in London and friends in Dublin, and we’ll have our Montreal time, on the way in or out.  Who wants to come with us?  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.

With a sea day on February 9, I am happy to report that the software on my computer is almost complete and mostly updated.  The power supply, however, seems to be losing ground.  It looked like the trouble was at its connection to the computer, which is worrisome, as it might be the power supply end, or it might be inside the computer.  A cracked mother board is fatal.  I limped along, fiddling to get the connection and holding it in place with whatever I could find.  I got through desk hours, which were easy, compliments on the Canaletto dinner, sign ups, etc., and I PhotoShopped Michael’s pictures from our wine tour and got them on to my screensaver.

The Build your Own Boat judging was held in the afternoon, and a bunch of us went to cheer Jacob Abecassis, who had made a miniature Amsterdam.  He had put his heart and soul and about two weeks of his time into it.  It was beautiful, but it broke a rule, when he painted its hull to match the ship’s.  They wouldn’t let him put it in the hot tub to prove it could float.  Two sailboats, made by both halves of a Dutch couple, were seaworthy and proved they could carry a cargo of a dozen cans of Coke.  They weren’t nearly as pretty as Jocob’s, but they beat him handily.  So sad.

 The next day, February 10, we docked in Sydney.  Australian customs give you a hard time, but that was OK.  We were there for two days.  Debbie Amos was picking us up around and we were going to do some shopping and meet up with Sue Jamieson, from Hong Kong, who was on holiday there.  It would have been nice had there been WiFi in the terminal while we waited, but no such luck.  The only negative about this cruise is the time wasted on the endless search for WiFi, because of the high cost and low quality on board.

Debbie picked us up around noon, and she had done her research, on where we could get a needlepoint kit, for Linda Linthicum.  Off we went to Mossman and a darling little needlepoint shop that had everything.  Linda had only asked for “colorful, wool, $100-200”.  We gave this directive to the shopkeeper and she came up with a very whimsical, very colorful snail.  Debbie and I loved it and Linda did, too.  If she had not, I knew whom I could give it to.

Then we went to David Jones, the big department store downtown, and paid an obscene amount to park the car, but David delivered.  Elvon now has two new green V-neck sweaters, different shades, different weights.  You have to know him to know what a victory this is.  Then we had a snack and a cup of tea, looked around a bit more, bailed the car out and went to pick up Sue at the Modern Art Museum.

By this time we were ready to go back to the ship for a bar tour and dinner.  Elvon had a nap, while Debbie, Sue and I went to the Crow’s nest for a glass of wine.  When it was time for the Neptunes to start playing in the Ocean Bar, we went down there, for another glass.  Sue loves to dance, particularly tango, and we have dance hosts on board, who can accommodate.  Around a quarter to eight, we picked Elvon up in the room and went to dinner.  Mike and Kathy were on an overland excursion, so there was room at the table.  We could have used the Pinnacle, but the dining room has a better menu and more of the feel of a cruise ship.  It was lovely to have our dear friends join us for dinner and nice to see them exchanging coordinates.  Our friends usually like each other, so it was no great surprise.

The second day in Sydney, we were going to Dim Sum at Zilver.  They call it Yum Cha in Australia, but there’s no difference I can see.  Elvon decided to stay back, as he was tired after our outing yesterday.  I had prepared a sheet, with the address of the restaurant and four ways to get there.  The address read 1477 instead of 477, but, bless their hearts and brains, everyone found the place.  Some of us found it a little later than others.  I was in the terminal three-quarters of an hour early for the shuttle to Paddy’s Market.  Molly and Ivan Wallace were there a half hour early.  I made the bad decision to stay in the terminal for the air-conditioning.  By the time I got to the shuttle there were only three seats left.  Since there were three of us, that should have been OK, but Molly walks with a cane, and an able bodied couple raced past the Wallaces, so I stepped back to stay with them.  Then I made another bad decision, which was to take the shuttle to The Rocks as it was closer.  It was also in the middle of the worst traffic in Sydney.  Our cab cost twice as much and took three times as long.  I absorbed the entire cost of it, of course.  My bad.

This resulted in our being about twenty minutes late and the natives at the first table got restless.  Michael Innis tried to solve it by just having them put whatever came along on the table, so there would be some food. I saw at a glance, that most of it was not what I would have chosen, but it doesn’t matter at Dim Sum, everything is so cheap.  It’s really hard to spend $20 a person.  Our table was just the Westcotts, Wallaces and us, and they all insisted on paying for me, for all I do.  No protest was effective.

Off we went to Paddy’s Market, where we split up to shop.  I scored a nice fleece for $25, and a few other bits and we did get the Paddy’s Market shuttle back to the ship. My email brought a nice offer from John Ball, a HK friend.  The Hong Kong Club was having it’s 170^th Anniversary party on March 3, and could I get him a date from the ship?  I left a message on Marcia’s phone to come to my desk first thing in the morning.  Did I have a deal for her!

Arnold Donald, President and CEO of Carnival, Stein Kruse, CEO of Holland America Group, and Orlando Ashford, President of Holland America line, with his wife, Samantha, and son Jackson, boarded.  Hazel Donald and Linda Kruse have been on board since Fort Lauderdale.  There was a bang up sail-away, with free drinks.  We just topped that off with a plate of pasta and called it a night.

The next morning, Marcia was first to my desk, her interest piqued by my phone message.  She’s delighted to accompany John Ball to the Hong Kong Club’s festivities.  Why not?  It’s bound to be fun on some, if not many, levels.   I billed her as a “tall, blond Southern Belle” and sent John a picture.  I like the idea of Snow and Ball, it has a certain je ne sais quoi.  That was a bright spot but I had a lot to be unhappy about.  I had a newsletter to write and it was getting increasingly difficult to get power to the computer.  I put a pathetic plea into newsletter for a spare computer or power supply that might fit mine.   Once I got the letter out, I went to see Kristin in the Digital Workshop and she showed me how to take an image backup, which I did.  She also found an angle that worked, so I waited there until it charged.  I also took normal data backups and asked Henk if the ship could loan me a computer until HK, when I would replace it.  It could not.

There was a huge Australian Beach Party at the Lido Pool, but I couldn’t face it.  I was practically in mourning for my computer.  Elvon and I ate quietly, almost alone in the Dining Room.

Early in the morning on February 13, another sea day, the Captain was on the blower.  We were supposed to be sailing to Mooloolaba, where Hannah Amos, my AOPi daughter and Debbie’s real one, was going to come spend a day with us.  Alas, it is not to be.  The port authority there has closed the port, due to a storm.  The captain will have to find us another berth, somewhere in Australia.  His job sure is interesting.  I have my own problems, the power supply is increasingly iffy, and I doubt it will work at all very soon.  The laundry came back missing a bra.  I had three identical ones with me, so our cabin steward just took a picture of one, and had it back in a few hours.  Technology is truly everywhere, except right in front of me, where it needs to be.  I have been in communication with SquareTrade, who carry my ASUS’s warranty, exploring options.  The warranty expires in three weeks, so it will be good to have a claim filed.  I have a lot of people in HK who can help me find a new one, but will I then be able to cover it?  My computer leads a hard life, with all the moving around, sea air, sloppy owner, etc.  I often collect on a warranty.

Limping along, I got Bobbie Reilly-Schmidt an appointment for a haircut at the Mandarin, too.  Now we are three.  In answer to my plea, Wells Westcott loaned me a spare computer and I took it up to Kristin, in the Digital Workshop, where we installed Office 2007, from the download Michael took in Picton, which was still on one of my external hard drives.  Isn’t that nice?  The solution to the software problem is now helping with the hardware problem.  We now know we will be docking in Townsville, of which no one has ever heard, but we’re game.

Jack Parker showed up at my desk with two “universal” power supplies with 24 tips each, but none of them fit.  The computer industry needs to get its act together on this one, like it has done with the USB.  He also tested the voltage on my ASUS power supply and couldn’t get a reading.  That may or may not mean the power supply or its tip, is at fault.  At least I am up and running on Wells’ computer and backing up manually three times a day, while I look for a permanent solution.  I did manage a little logging.

It was a fast day for us and a quiet night at our table.  Three tables over they were having a wonderful time.  That one contained four of our people, Dan Samaniego, Alan Laurin and Lynn Blair, and Bobbie Reilly-Schmidt.  The entertainment was Patrick Murray and his Jamaican puppet, Mathilda.  It was hysterical, particularly as Mathilda was a dead ringer for Theresa, my Jamaican friend in Montreal.

Valentine’s Day, February 14,  I left a note at the desk that I would be there after Orlando Ashford’s special presentation and Q&A in the Queen’s Lounge.  The whole ship goes to this, as it is the place to make our concerns felt and to learn about the future of Holland America.  Orlando has been on the job for 14 months now, and he has a good grasp of the situation.  He’s an excellent presenter and we felt good about just about everything, except the Internet.

We were especially excited about the newest ship in the line, the Koningsdam.  It looks just wonderful.  Orlando said we would all get a chance to board when we dock together in Civitavecchia on April 15.  I can hardly wait.  Steve and Tricia Harrold, whose Napa cat sit gig last summer turned into care-giving for both of us, will be boarding that day.  We have clearance for them to board the Amsterdam, early that morning, to join us for one of our pig-out breakfasts, before they board.  That will be a really fun day.

Steve and Tricia are going to have fun on the Koningsdam, too.  They’ll get to blend and bottle their own wine.  I just have to figure out how I am going to buy them that add-on.  The on board restaurants and entertainment look awesome, too.  I must get myself a gig on her next year.  Speaking of next year, the Amsterdam’s Grand World team will remain essentially unchanged, with Captain Jonathan, Hotel Manager, Henk, GR Manager, Christel, and Cruise Director, Gene.  This is good.  We like all these people.

Gerald Berkhoff, Mariner Club Manager, gave a nice presentation, too.  The first grand world was on the Statendam in 1958, but HAL hosted a ‘round the world university at sea, as early as 1926.  It was on the Rijndam, with 500 students, many of their parents and all the necessary professors.  Wouldn’t that have been wonderful?

Orlando promised to fix the Internet.  I’ll believe it when I see it.  Other lines have tackled the problem with some success.  HAL’s has been minimal.  He answered 18 questions in all, about things like smoking, future itineraries, the possibility of six-star memberships, because if the huge gap between five-star and President’s club.  We can expect better in-room TVs on the Amsterdam, and the Prinsendam to stay around for another 5-10 years, but they won’t be building anything that small again.  The economics are not there.  Big ships, like the Koningsdam, won’t be doing Grand Voyages, though.  The Amsterdam is much more capable in blue water and she’s good for another 15 years.

Connie Fischer and Jim Detwiler were sitting just behind us.  They had been DV people last year but their travel agent had switched allegiance, so they are not in the group this year.  I told them about my computer woes, and she thought her power supply might fit my computer.  Lo and behold, it does.  We are now sharing a power supply and I am back in business on my own computer.

There was a five-star Mariners’ lunch that day, and we were seated with Bunny and Horace, and Gert and Sigrid.  They were all very nice people and we had business travel in common.  It seems to be a common thread.  Most of the people you meet, on these long voyages, traveled or moved a lot, for business.  Many of them have been in the services, fighting the wars, others have worked or taught abroad, but travel seems to be a taste you acquire by doing.

I started researching ASUS Zenbooks and found some amazing ones for the price I paid for this one.  They are in the very same 13” case, but how about 20GB of RAM and 1TB of SSD?

It was Valentine’s Gala night and I decided it was time for my pink wig.  The professional photographers took a great picture of us with the execs, but I won’t have that for you until the end of the cruise.  The people at the next table wanted pictures, too, so here’s one of theirs:

Finally, on February 15, we docked in Townsville.  I did the usual shore day stuff, plus my email, put the power supply back in my desk drawer for Connie to pick up, and left the ship around 2:30 pm.  It was a shame, as Townsville turned out to be a wonderful town.  They get about two ships a year and our arrival was a surprise to them, too, but they really rolled out the red carpet.  With a mostly volunteer work force, they manned a shuttle into town and a free Hop On Hop Off Bus.  I took it but didn’t have time to do any hopping off. It made a nice loop along the strand, showing off their beaches and hotels, and rolled back to where we started.  Everyone was very friendly and happy to see us.  It was delightfully un-touristy.  That probably won’t last, as Holland America, for one, will now doubtless start calling regularly.

The entertainment was Patrick McMahon, who sings the songs of Kenny Rodgers, Neil Diamond, Johnny Cash, et al, not quite as well, but adequate for our purposes.  We like our live entertainment before bed time.

 

I have been meaning to mention this.  You might be enjoying my narrative, but if you want a bunch of beautiful pictures of where we are, follow Captain Jonathan Mercer’s blog by going to  www.captainjonathan.com  and signing up.  He’s very good and an easy read, in every way my favorite captain, on any line.  He’s also a lot more up-to-date.  This segment begins to explain why.

And, here’s a bit of news.  I have my next assignment.  It’s ‘round the British Isles on August 6.  We like that gig, because it gives us an opportunity to see plays in London and friends in Dublin, and we’ll have our Montreal time, on the way in.  Who wants to come with us?  Do not post on the blog to sign up.  Email me directly.

The last thing I did on the computer, before shutting it down on February 2, was to load on Michael Innis’ photos from the wine tour, and my own, onto my computer.  Then I cleared off my camera, which was a mistake, and left the computer in hibernation, unplugged, I was that tired.  This morning, after I plugged it in and waited a while, Windows reported that it was trying to recover and did I want to start it normally.  You bet I did, but it was in a loop.  No matter what choice I made, it kept wanting to recover from the recovery partition, which would restore factory defaults.  The only upside was that I would be able to repartition the computer to one partition and make use of all the space on the hard drive.  It had arrived with three-quarters drive D and only one quarter, drive C.  Since C is where all the programs run, and they outweigh the data probably three to one, it’s nonsense.

As the computer was almost three years old, and we were at sea, that was an unpleasant solution.  It warned me that it would lose all files.  Luckily my backup was only a couple of days before, but still.  I took it to Nicola, the IT Manager, to see if he had a better idea, or to have a shoulder to cry on when I bit the bullet.  I called Michael Holt, too, and the three of us mourned, as it turned the clock back.  We are still pretty much in the middle of nowhere, and our next stop is Picton, New Zealand, not a major metropolis.  I figured out a game plan and Michael volunteered to help me rebuild the system in Picton.  Then I went to the gym with Elvon.  There was no more I could do.  Losing your computer is almost worse than getting sick yourself.  It is certainly more depressing.

That night we had the Le Cirque Dinner in the Pinnacle, with our regular table mates.  I made it through dinner and was somewhat cheered up by the entertainment, Ashley Carruthers, fun on a piano.  But it was a sad puppy that went to bed.

The next day we docked in Picton, NZ, which turned out to be a tiny little town.  There wasn’t enough WiFi anywhere for a ship load of people.  You should have seen the crowd in the library.  Bars and restaurants were no better.  We bought a couple of US to Oz plug adapters and a day-room in the best hotel in town for $100NZ, about $70 to me.  That was a lot of fun, I must have looked like an old cougar.  Michael is half my age and very buff.

The day room offered peace to work and a comfortable setting, but even there, the Internet wasn’t much.  The town gets it off a satellite, same as the ship.  But we had two computers to download software on, and soon had Microsoft Office up and running, and the most basic Windows updates applied.  While PhotoShop was taking forever to download, we worked on changing my email client to Outlook, because I take a lot of abuse for still using the AOL Desktop.  So we had AOL forward to gmail and set up Outlook to go to gmail.  When we left it was still transferring 6 years of emails to the gmail server and it started in 2011.  Then they have to come in to Outlook, which died trying to load them in, because of the lousy Internet.

I wouldn’t recommend that to anyone who wasn’t doing it overnight in the privacy of his or her own home.  I wouldn’t plan on taking the computer out in the morning, either.  Outlook was downloading every message I had left on the AOL server since 2011.  I am lucky it wasn’t longer.  I have been on AOL since 1995.  I went back to the AOL Desktop in a hurry and haven’t dared open Outlook since, never mind gmail.

That was an adventure, too.  The new version of AOL Desktop is missing my favorite function “Run Automatic AOL”, which is Send/Receive in Outlook, and enables me to work offline all day and just take ten minutes of expensive ship’s Internet, once a day.  Luckily, that night I met Jan Yetke and whined about it.  She said she had never used “Run Automatic AOL”.  You just drag and drop from your IN basket to any file in “Saved on my computer”, and I have been doing that ever since, with great success.  Thanks, Jan.

With all of that, I never had time to load Norton on, nor finish the Windows updates, so there was another marathon shore session on the horizon, but, at least I could work. I was a little happier that night and really enjoyed Lee Bayless, the comedian who teaches you how to do comedy.

I had a lot to do, on February 5, bringing my manifest up to date from a paper copy, and recovering or re-writing various other bits that had been lost.  I got a copy of Michael’s wine tour photos from the stick I had yet to return, but mine are lost forever.  When I was back in a position to work, I started on a newsletter, as we had plans for Sydney and it was coming up.  I took myself out of the HOHO Bus plan for Melbourne, as I had a computer to rehabilitate.  I knew where I was going, too, The Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron.  That should give me good, fast Internet, without having to compete with the rest of the ship.

Luckily the desk was fairly quiet.  Our captain’s dinner in the Pinnacle was at 6:30 pm, so it was a short day, but I was glad of it.  We went to bed early, skipping the entertainment, rather than waiting an hour for it.  The Captain’s Dinner was delicious.

Still at sea on February 6, the desk was busier, as I worked through the process of completing the newsletter.  I got the letters printed and delivered and used the Future Cruise Consultants to help me with an order from one of my own clients.  It was a Saturday, so we went to Happy Hour in the Crow’s Nest with seven other people.  The evening’s entertainment was a production show: Mundo Latino.

Still at sea on February 7, I had a day to start catching up.  I worked my own travel business, which finally contains a few HAL bookings, so I can talk to the Future Cruise Consultants (FCCs) and make bookings with only $100 down because I am on board.  A few people dropped by the desk to talk about Melbourne and Sydney and sign up for my dinners.

I finalized Sydney arrangements with Debbie Amos and Sue Jamieson from HK, who was in Sydney over Chinese New Year, PhotoShopped some pictures, and wrote some words, not nearly enough.  The show was excellent:  the Australian Tenors.  Not Pavarotti and Placido, but good enough.

On February 8, 2016, we docked in Melbourne, Australia.  I still had a lot of software to load onto the computer and a lot of Windows updates to take.  I needed good WiFi and a nice quiet place to work.  I settled on the Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron.  The helpful people at the pier told me it was a 15 to 20 minute walk.  After 15 minutes, what I thought was it, was still in the distance.  I found a taxi.  That was a very good thing, because it was a lot farther along the water.  It was also closed, but the office was open and the staff was friendly.  I ended up with the chart room, all to myself.

I unpacked the computer and set it up.  Then I started looking for an outlet, as I would surely need power for all I had to do.  I spotted a tangle of wires across the room and took off in that direction.  The power cord was hanging over the side of the table and I got caught in it, sending the power supply to the floor.  I have probably done this a hundred times before, but this one was the one.  Once I got it in, the power light didn’t come on.  This is not good, but a little wigging and a piece of scotch tape got me back in business for the afternoon.  I downloaded and installed Norton, took a ton of Windows updates, and dealt with the day’s email.  I installed PhotoShop and Cute PDF writer, and a couple of other useful bits.

My work environment was top notch.  It was quiet, steeped in history, and beautiful, if a little funky.  I wished I could have stayed until after five o’clock, when the bar would open, but I had to get back to the ship.  My taxi pulled in just behind the chefs’.  They filled six luggage carts, with purchases of new dishes and décor for the events that would commence when the big bosses board in Sydney.

 

 

It has been a while.  You’ll find out why in the next episode.  For now, I hope you are as grateful for this one as I am.  You probably aren’t, but you’ll find out about that in the next episode, too.

On January 26, while Elvon and I were having breakfast, the ship was trying to find an amenable place to anchor at Roratonga. I had planned to steal from the Captain’s blog for this, but, once I saw it, I figured mine would be juicier.  My favorite captain has yet to manage to land anyone here, and he has had five or six shots at it over the years.  This island has high seas, nasty shoals, changeable winds, the works.  The first place we tried was way too exposed, and it was all the crew could do to get the tenders into the water.  They couldn’t find an angle where it would be safe to board and carry passengers, never mind land them on shore.

So, like Mother Duck and her ducklings, we went around the headland, hoping it was better on the other side.  It was, and about 600 people managed to get ashore, before tender number 9 was blown on to a reef.  The captain doesn’t talk about this in his blog.  He did, however, do the right thing by the passengers on said tender.  There was no real danger, you could wade to the thing, but people take expensive camera and computer equipment, wear the wrong shoes, aren’t as fit as they should be, or are just plain old.  The rescue squad, which waded out, consisted of the Captain, his wife, the Hotel Manager, his wife the Guest Relations Manager, the Culinary Operations Manager, who got a terrible sunburn, the Cruise Director, Events Manager, Housekeeping Manager, Food and Beverage Manager, Cellarmaster, etc.  They helped some wade to shore, took some in little boats, and brought water and sandwiches to those who had to, or elected to, stay aboard.  It took a good few hours, but they managed to tow it off the reef and back to the ship, sans one propeller, and with numerous holes in the, luckily double, hull.  The affected passengers got a good whack of ship-board credit, champagne, etc.  We hope the handicapped ones who saw the whole thing now understand why the ship doesn’t want them on tenders.   Elvon hasn’t got on one in years.  He says he likes he likes his life too much to ruin it by breaking something.

The entertainment was Bobby Brooks Wilson, a repeater from last year, but a very good one.  He does a lot of songs from the fifties, made famous by Elvis and Frank, and, of course, his own father, Jackie Wilson.

Back at sea on January 27, I was still reading “Taming the Screwcap”, in preparation for my talk on wine in three days.  On this day, I was learning about the role of SO₂, reduction and the role of padding in the screw cap.  At the desk, I answered questions about how much wine we would be able to bring back to the ship, and how much of it we could bring to the dining room.  We are getting very relaxed rules, especially yours truly.  Now I will have quite a bit of good, cheap wine to serve at DV dinners.  I gave 13 certainly unused Auckland Wine Tour tickets to Jacques, for his wine stewards and the names of the passengers who were interested on Bridge Tours to Jennifer.  I PhotoShopped a bunch of pictures and talked to whomever came, oe of whom had been on tender number 9.

Happy Hours are back in the Crow’s Nest from 6 to 7, so I planned to start up again, too, not every day, as we spent too many days up there alone last year.  I analyzed the calendar, trying to find the day of the week with the most sea days.  It turned out to be Saturday.  So we will have T.H.I.S. Happy Hour.  ‘Too Happy It’s Saturday’.

I tried to get Elvon to wear a $240 white silk shirt to dinner.  It’s a Nat Nast, much like a Tommy Bahama, only twice the price, and just beautiful.  He wouldn’t wear it.  He wanted something green.  Paul Kerr, Culinary Operations Manager, and his wife, Sharon, from the front desk, were coming to dinner.  Paul has the same hairline as Elvon, and his pate was bright pink, along with his face, arms, etc., thanks to yesterday’s operations with tender number 9.  Sharon is quiet but was sporting fabulous jewelry, lent to her by the shop for such occasions, and Paul is very lively.  It was a lot of fun.  The entertainment was “Made in England”, an Elton John Tribute from our own production cast.

January 28, we crossed the dateline and the day did not exist for us.  January 29, was a sea day, and a busy one at the desk.  I had a letter to get out, a talk to finish preparing and emails for assorted appointments in Hong Kong.   I finished the letter, and got it delivered by 7:15pm, in time to shower and dress for dinner.  The entertainment was ‘La Musica”, Adam and Lisa, a British couple.   They are very good.  The music is light classical.

Of course, January 30, was a sea day, too.  I stayed in my cabin until just before office hours, rehearsing my talk.  The desk was extra busy and I left it as soon as I could to go through my talk one more time before it was time to give it.  It was well and went well.  I charged $10, for which they got all the wine they could drink and a Wine Tasting Guide worth at least $5, $10 if you buy one online or in a winery.  Our Bar Attendant, Princess Leah, served wines from my Admiral’s package, on which she would not be tipped, so I gave her $10.

It happened to be the first T.H.I.S. Happy Hour, so up we went to the Crow’s Nest and had a fine time with Dan Samaniego and the Westcotts.  Then we had a lovely dinner at the Petersen’s table, enjoyed Bobbie Brooks Wilson one more time, and went to bed.  It had been a big day.

Believe it or not, we were still at sea on January 31, so I went to the desk again. One lady came by to say she had become a boat widow.  Her husband has entered the “Build your own boat” contest and it is consuming him.  I lent her whatever glue I had and promised to get him some supporters on the day of the judging. I saw another six or eight people, and took Elvon to the gym.  I got some logging done and we went to dinner and a show.  It was Simeon Wood, who played assorted wind instruments.  Is he the Wood in the Wind?

Our DV Wine Tour day was on February 2, in Auckland.  We got off to a bit of a late start, when I missed counting one passenger on the bus, and called her name out three times to no response.  15 minutes of searching ensued, and when we called a halt to it and I got back on the bus, there she was.  That’s the stuff that drives you crazy.

We never saw the other bus load of people, as each winery could only handle one bus load of us.  The closest we came was passing on the road when we switched.  One winery, Soljans, took us into the vineyards, and through the winery, cellar and bottling line.  Their tasting wasn’t much, and neither were the wines, but they had a nice gift shop.

The other winery, Matua, had a wonderful tasting, with about six different New Zealand cheeses.  They insisted you take a sip, a bite of cheese, and another sip.  It really did make a difference in the flavor of the wine, and the cheeses were delicious.  One guy bought a bunch of them and had a party in his cabin, the day after, to which we were lucky enough to be invited.  I digress.

A few people got off in town to eat.  I had to take the bus all the way back, but the driver was kind enough to drive three of us back to the Auckland Fish Market, where we had some of the best fish and chips, ever, and a nice bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, Villa Maria, Jacques, the cellar master’s favorite.

We hoofed it back to the ship at speed and made it with five minutes to spare.  Sailaway was particularly nice, so nice that we just finished off with a bowl of pasta, from the Lido, and went to bed.

 

 

I have been meaning to mention this.  You might be enjoying my narrative, but if you want a bunch of beautiful pictures of where we are, follow Captain Jonathan Mercer’s blog by going to  www.captainjonathan.com and signing up.  He’s very good and an easy read, in every way my favorite captain, on any line.

 

January 19, before Office hours, I saw Rebecca from Shore Excursions.  She gave me the scoop on accessibility fro our tours and, tickets for all three tours in pink envelopes, ready for distribution.  I worked the usual office hours, took Elvon to the gym, did a little more paperwork, walked the deck and went to dinner, where Nicola, the Communications Officer, was our table guest, and we found him delightful.  He is really enjoying his job and the fact that it gives him a chance to see the world and meet all kinds of people.  He’s from Serbia, and plans to go back in a few years and start a software company with a couple of friends.  The others may be already working on it.  He is accumulating a little seed money, which you can, when you work at sea, fed and housed.  We wish him well and will surely have him back to the table.  The entertainment was Robbie Howard, straight from Vegas.  He managed to sound like every other Vegas entertainer we knew, except maybe Celine Dion.

 

On January 20, we were in Taiohae, Nuku Hiva, French Polynesia.  I had been here before, and had a plan.  After an enormous breakfast in the Lido, I went to the gym with Elvon, and got off the ship around eleven, starved for Internet.  So much for my resolve; it’s both a necessity and an addiction.  The restaurant I used last year was closed, but the next one was open, with twice as many customers.  I bought the obligatory Coke, and set to work.  Well, it was cheap, but not even as good as the ship’s, with all the traffic on it.  I am persistent, though.  It took me three hours to give up.  As I was leaving I heard there was a good, but expensive source right across from the tender pier.  It’s “Tiki Net” and they want $2.50 for 15 minutes, but they let you plug your computer in, which it would need soon, and it was nice and fast.  I considered it ten bucks well spent.  In a couple of days, we’ll be on Rangiroa, where the Shipleys and I accessed the Internet from plastic chairs by the sea, on the 2013 Grand Asia.

 

I got back to the ship, and took Elvon to Sailaway, which was beautiful.  The entertainment was Pete Neighbor, Jazz Clarinet.  Nice.

 

At  sea, on January 21, bright and early, I sat down with Tina to finalize our lists and get more Pinnacle dates, as I had a newsletter to write.  I wrote it during and after office hours.  One of my cruisers came to tell me her ukulele group would be performing at 4:00pm in the Crow’s Nest, so I duly appeared there.  By 4:30pm, I had had enough of the Polynesian team and none of our passengers, so I went back to work on my letter.

 

I had some help.  My bus monitor, Bridge Instructor Gail Hanson, who had been a court stenographer, proofread for me and an engineer passenger helped me figure out what had gone wrong with my Excel spreadsheet.  During all of this, I had been re-filling our dinner table.  Four of our tablemates were dining in Canaletto, the night I had Rebecca Antuna, from Shore Excursions, come to the table.  I filled it with four of my people.  We all had a wonderful time, including Rebecca.

 

The entertainment was the Jack Pack, who were repetitious, within the same cruise; still easy on the eyes, but they need to learn more songs.

 

On January 22, we were tendered off Rangiroa, French Polynesia.  Oceania Marina was at this tiny Island, too.  I had not been able to find Didier’s email and we tendered to a different pier than in 2013.  I had no idea how far it was from his house, but I knew I needed a plan that had nothing to do with any place where the other 2,000 people might be.

 

First, I want for a walk, and watched the local dogs chase the local chickens.  They are all food, here.  It was a beautiful day, if a little hot, and there’s a paved road that follows the beach, with just one house between road and beach all around.  I found a house with a big dish, but the occupants said it was just for television.

 

When I had walked my quota for the day, I cleared my throat in French, and started looking in earnest.  The third place I tried took me in.  I got the password off the router itself, and they brought me a chair and a glass of water.  I had wonderful contact with the outside world for about an hour and a half.  I was with the family in a breezeway, which consisted of one outside wall, a cement floor and a roof, with an ocean view.  It was the coolest part of the house, which was why everyone was there, and to make it cooler, they brought out a fan.  When I had to go back to the ship, they didn’t want to take any money, but I left ten bucks under the router, which had done yeoman service, compared to the wimp on the ship.

 

My hosts turned out to be the Harrys family.  So here’s a picture of our relatives in French Polynesia:

Sailaway was just beautiful.  Rangiroa is an atoll, a circular mass of coral, with a lagoon in the centre.  There is a hole dredged through the coral for ships to get in and out.  There were two of us going out at about the same time.  We left first, with Oceania Marina following closely.  You would think I would have fabulous pictures, from our stern, of her “shooting the hole”, but, alas, the sun was such that I couldn’t see what I was taking so I pointed and I shot, and I wasn’t so lucky.

 

Showtime was a repeat performance for Sarah Chandler and Robbie Howard, and it was good enough.  We love having live entertainment every night after dinner and taking an elevator one deck home.

 

On January 23, we docked in Papeete, Tahiti, French Polynesia.  We were going to be here Papeete until 5:00am, and I have been many times before, so Elvon and I had a leisurely breakfast and an hour in the gym, and I did some work, before going out around two.  The market was closed, so no flowers for my desk, but I did get good Internet at the yoghurt shop I used last year.

 

Ten of us went out to the food trucks on the pier.  After we walked around for a while with no real consensus, nor table space for a large group, we split into twos and fours.  It was a magic night, and the food was great.  Our group had raw tuna and barbequed baby calf, with French fries.  Then we moved on to another truck for crepes.  We waddled back to the ship.  I later learned that we should have waddled past the truck to where local artists were doing very interesting things.

 

The entertainment we missed was Tahiti Ora, an excellent troupe, all drumming and shaking their grass skirts.  Elvon liked it, for the third or fourth time.  The ships male officers had a party in the Pinnacle for Dolly, who marked 4000 actual days aboard.

 

In Moorea, French Polynesia, the next day, I left Elvon pedaling in the gym and got off at ten, with Stan and Marilyn.  We were going to the Hilton , for beach time, lunch and Internet.  We got all three and a great taxi driver to boot.  Not cheap, mind you.  The Hilton wanted $90 for its day pass.  It was, however, cheaper and better than the ships excursion, which included a night in the hotel.  We’re told that was a lot of fun, but they were leaving the Hilton at 11:00 m, as we were arriving.  One could mimic this excursion with a ferry ride from Papeete, two taxis and a hotel room.  I would, if the hotel had easy access for Elvon.  It does not.

 

The Hilton’s lunch was delicious, though.  I had more raw tuna.  This is the place to eat it.  Elizabeth, our taxi driver, was right on time to take us back.  Of course she was.  She’s Swiss.  Her parents moved to Moorea, 85 years ago.  She was born and educated on the island and she’s a tough old bird.  She was a great source of factoids, though, and sharp as a tack at 78.

 

Dolly was still glowing, and wearing her sparkly commemorative tee shirt, when we got to dinner.  She detained us long enough to make us late to table and our stewards mad.  The entertainment was Bayng Bacon, a repeat, but still fun, comedy, piano, vocals, the works.  “She got the gold mine, and I got the shaft.”

 

Finally, at sea, on January 25, I started preparing for my wine talk.  It’s the same talk every year, with the addition of whatever monograph the International Wine & Food Society sends me.  This year it’s “Taming the Screwcap”, which I expect to be very interesting.

 

I took Elvon to the finals of “Crew Chopped” where Gene, the Cruise Director and Pieter, the Executive Chef, were battling it out against Mark, the Events Manager, and Paul, the Culinary Operations Manager.  That promised to be hilarious.

 

Then I went to my desk to handle the usual and talk needlepoint with Al Vence and Linda Linthicum.  Well, just Linda, really, but you almost never see these two lovebirds apart.  I love it.  Now I have an order for a better needlepoint kit, a book on stitches and a Swiss Army pocket knife.

 

It was a DV Lunch day in the Dining Room, so I collected Elvon from his culinary event and off we went.  At 2:00 pm, we went to the Culinary Arts Centre, where Jacques, the Cellarmaster, was giving a talk called “Wine About It”.  I think he stole said title from yours truly, who calls hers, “Wine with Helen.”  He dispensed useful factoids, like, the best price-performing wine in the supermarket is on the top or bottom shelf.  They are trying to get rid of the stuff at eye level.  Jacques has no input on the wines served on board, except for on a World Cruise, when he can buy wine in wine producing ports.  His favorite is Villa Maria sauvignon blanc, which is from New Zealand.  If you ever get to Cape Town, taste the wines of St-Constance, Franchode, rather than Stellenbosch.

 

I went back to my desk to clear my email and Donna Kasprick stopped by to share a dive photo of herself in the cockpit of a WWII bomber under the sea.  Dee Westcott took it and printed it for her.  These two have become dive buddies.  It took 40 minutes to download my email, and prompted me to write to one sender to please only put small pictures in emails.  His had taken 20 of said 40 minutes.  It can be tough out here.

 

Rebecca had given me all the tickets in bright pink envelopes, by cabin.  I had to remove the ones that were not being used, before I delivered them.  I needed the Auckland Wine Tour ones for the wine stewards.  That done, I made the deliveries and got back to my cabin at 7:15 pm, just in time to change for dinner.

 

I ordered the California Sauvignon Blanc, from our Navigator’s package, that night.  It was Greystone, 2012.  The color, smell and taste were off.  I figured it was corked.  So, I asked Romeo, our wine steward, to show me the cork.  It was synthetic.  I figured that meant it couldn’t be corked.  Romeo said it was just old.  2012 is not that old.  Our education is just beginning Stay tuned, as I prepare for and deliver my wine talk in the next episode.’’  Anyway, Romeo replaced it with Nobilo, a perfectly acceptable New Zealand sauvignon, from the Admiral’s package, as if it were from the Navigator package, so we were happy.

 

The entertainment was “Strings Alive,” a violin and a guitar, and they were excellent.

 

 

January 12 was the first of eight days at sea, during which I planned to get my act together and catch up. I started by photoshopping the cocktail party pictures. People are coming by with sign ups and observations, and I am tee’ing up dinners, talks and so on.

 

I feared I might have picked up a virus at the shopping mall in Panama, as Norton was acting up. Christel directed me to Nikola, the Communications Officer. He proved to be a good sounding board and assured me that it was likely just a bad download, and it would fix itself, once I got to decent Internet. The computer is running fine, so he is likely right.

 

I had plenty of material for a new letter, with more dates and times, so I got busy on that. I’ll finish and distribute it tomorrow. Kermit Apio, a 48-year old comedian, was the entertainment. He was only moderately funny. Maybe it’s generational.

 

The next day, I had a 10”00am meeting, before I went to my desk. I did some wheeling and dealing with the beverage people, to be able to treat my passengers once in a while, without it breaking me. Luckily, few people came to the desk, I got the letters written and delivered and got us dressed up for the Black and Silver Ball. By the time Elvon and I got there, there wasn’t a seat in the house, so we retired to the piano bar, which was nice.

 

The next day, January 14, the phone rang, bright and early. It was a sign up for the Murder Mystery. Glad to oblige.   Tom Grindlay gave me two dates for Dining Room lunches for people to get to know each other, and one of them was January 16, so I’ll need to get a new letter out today. That’s fine because there was a slight error in yesterday’s one, anyway. So I gave Tom our logo and amended the letter.

 

I gave out some advice on Nuku Hiva and signed up a bunch of people for various things. I had published three choices for a night out in Hong Kong, horse races at the Jockey Club, dinner at the Yacht Club, and an elegant Chinese meal. All of them include friends who live in Hong Kong and are wonderful to meet. The early polling favored the Yacht Club, my own last choice, but I know they are right. This is something they need me to do. They can have their own good Chinese meal the other night.

 

There was a jazz jam in the Ocean Bar after dinner, and it was very good.

 

Well, when I brought up AOL the next morning, the ship’s sign on was inside the AOL Desktop software and the read, write, mail, etc. toolbar was absent. In over 500 days of sailing on Holland America, I had never seen such a thing. I had had a discussion with Nicola, the Communications Officer, a couple of days ago and had given him my tips for signing on to AOL, as he reported others in difficulty. This was the first time I had booted the computer, since then, and now I was afraid the good deed had not gone unpunished. I wrote it up and went to see him. He pleaded not guilty, and we set about troubleshooting together. It’s working again and I promised him dinner at our table in the Dining Room. He liked that.

 

The desk was busy again, thanks to the newsletters and interest sheets. I picked up the knowledge that one passenger had four tickets to the Barber of Seville at the Sydney Opera House on February 10 and another one had Blanc de Blancs, a cirque du soleil type show.

 

I got a little deck time with Elvon and dressed for dinner. The show was the Jack Pack, a male quartet. They were good and very easy on this old girl’s eyes.

 

The next day, before I left the cabin, and its handy phone, I made a couple of phone calls. Then I met with Tina and got all squared away with our various dates and participants. There was a passenger at the desk, when I got there, wanting advice as to which places to take ship’s tours and which not to. Today’s subject was New Zealand and we came up with two very good tours. The one in Picton looked particularly appealing; with its Maori war dance, all tongue-protruding, no doubt.

 

It wasn’t long before it was time for our lunch in the Dining Room. I fetched Elvon from the cabin and we went up. A lot of the people were already there, we were seated at the third table of six, and, sadly for them, two more people came and ended up alone at their table. But twenty was a good turn-out and the folks had fun meeting each other,

 

After lunch, Elvon and I sat on the deck and I caught up with some paperwork. The entertainment was “Dance Trance”. Lots of pretty costume changes.

 

The next morning, I met with the Pinnacle and Shore Excursions, ironing out a few details. I still don’t know what to tell our mobility challenged guests about the tours.

 

There was a big kerfuffle going on around Gene’s office. The minister, a Southern Baptist, has been consistently running over and cutting into the Bridge time. Today, it was about twenty minutes. When the Bridge people complain, the minister says they are interfering with God’s work. I saw a lot of Bridge people coming down to complain. They clearly had the weight of numbers on their side. I guess the work of the devil will go on, on the Amsterdam. Bridge and devotions now meet in different venues.

 

I got more info on docking in Sydney and Hong Kong. Sydney will be the remote White Bay, and Hong Kong, the handy Ocean Terminal. You win some…Tom Mullen of Cruise Specialists, stopped by, as he often does. We are friendly competitors, and he likes my chocolates, which are especially good this year, with the addition of a number of bags of Ghirardelli Squares, better quality chocolate from the Bay area, cheap at Ross in early January.

 

I took a break around one o’clock, to go to the gym with Elvon, and returned to the desk. I phoned the few people who had not been to the cocktail party, or had not told me about their tour attendance. This got one of them to come down for a new packet. I had spoken to her husband on day 2 and he had located the packet, but he must have hid it on her, because she says she never saw it. I made her a new one and she told me her story, which was so sweet. She grew up in a tiny town in Minnesota. One of her college summer jobs was waiting tables at a café there. One summer she had had a whirlwind romance with a patron, who was going to a different university, and whose summer job amounted to recruitment for his college. At the end of the summer, they went their separate ways back to school and lost track of each other. She married someone else, had a high powered career in NYC and ended up widowed about ten years ago. Two or three years ago, she started thinking about her old love and googled him. Google gave her his phone number, in Daytona Beach, FL. She called it and asked a couple of questions, when he answered the one about the little town with “Is this Joyce?” She knew she had her guy. It turns out he was widowed now, too, and living very well in a condo on the 21^st floor overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. He invited her down to see him, and they will be married two years in April. She’s eighty years old and happy as a clam. She signed up with me for a number of things.

 

When I was done at the desk, there wasn’t time to do much more than walk the deck, so I did that, showered and went to dinner. Sarah Chandler was playing the sax for us at 10:00pm. Her sparlkly dress went well with her sax, but she was otherwise unexceptional.

 

January 18, 2016 was the seventh day at sea. One passenger dropped by the desk with her credit card for two tickets to the Barber of Seville, at the Sydney Opera House. Another came to see me, prompted by yesterday’s phone message. At 34, he’s my second youngest passenger, after the 10-year old, who is traveling with her mother and grand mother.

 

This guy is traveling alone, and I couldn’t resist asking where he had made his money to be able to do so. It’s software, he wrote an application, grew the business and sold it. The company that bought it still pays him for support, but it’s too easy. He decided to take a break, see the world and see if another idea comes. Here’s another guy with a great story. We got on famously, as I began my career writing software, too, only then it was payrolls and accounting applications on an IBM 1401, with 16KB of memory. But, we could talk, and it was fun. He says he’s an old soul and will enjoy doing things with the group. So, I signed him up for a bunch of things. His interests are wine, food and computer technology. I have a lot of friends like that. I am like that.

 

A few more people stopped by, including the Executive Chef, Peter. I booked some officers for dinner at our table, and found out when I could offer my people a Bridge Tour. A Welsh choir fan among my passengers wanted to be sure to see the Hong Kong Welsh Men’s Choir, so I wrote my friend, Simon, in HK, who negotiates for them. Gene says the ship will probably have them but it’s a bit of a bun fight between him and head office, as there’s a big bar bill and each wants the other to cover it.

 

My day was shortened by the necessity to plan for and attend, out first DV dinner in the Pinnacle. We have the big table for 14 in the back room. I love it there. Just like home, if you live in a mansion. I went to the Pinnacle at 5:00pm and laid out place cards, like they do at the Captains’ Dinners, like we always did for business and pleasure dinners in Montreal, Hong Kong and Napa.

 

When I got there for dinner, fifteen minutes early, I learned that the one couple had been there for twenty minutes and insisted on sitting together. I switched two women. When the table was almost full, another couple arrived, who wanted to sit together as her English is poor and she needs him as a translator. That’s reasonable; I switched her too. That put two couples together, who eat at the same table every night. At least they like each other a lot, so it was OK. Not what I had intended, but OK. I poured wine from my Admiral’s package, six bottles of it, so I am out of pocket but everyone went away happy.

 

We got out in time for the 10:00 pm entertainment, which was our cast in “Encore”, light opera and musical theatre in concert. It was excellent.

 

Sorry this is so late. You’ll see why, as you read. We stayed in the Hilton Marina in Fort Lauderdale, overnight and had dinner at Coconuts with old IBM friends, the Muschetts, and new travel business friends, the Eckerts. I thought Bridge would be the topic that united them, but it turned out to be Jamaica. These people had attended the same New Years’ Eve parties, for years, back in the day. Small world. Good times, still. Good to have brought these nice people together in their own town.

The Eckerts took us to the ship around noon, and we got in line to board. It didn’t take too long and I was soon at work. This time my list matched the ship’s, so I could get to work on my welcome letters. It was nice to see Captain Jonathan Mercer again, and his wife , Karen. Henk and Christel Mensink are still here and welcomed us warmly, as did Gene Young, Shiv Charan, Willy Tubog, Jacques Louw. Tom Grindlay, Presti and Pande are still in the dining room, but Nikki George is no longer Events Manager.   That will be Mark Beasley and he was off buying stuff. Luckily I didn’t need him to write my first letter. I did meet with Nyron Peters, who now heads up Shore Excursions, and did the list check with Eduardo at the Front Desk.

Then I installed my printer at my desk in the Atrium on Deck 3, and went into production. While I was putting the letters together, Michael Innes and Gail Hanson, the new Bridge Instructors, stopped by to introduce themselves and to ask for the bus monitor job. I have no idea how word gets around, but they looked like perfect candidates, so they have the job.

I got all the letters delivered in time to go to dinner, which was great. Our table mates are all five-star Mariners, Kathy & Mike from Seattle, Marge, who is a Southern Belle, and (hooray) Marilyn Goldblatt and Stan Haidl, from Florida (originally New York). Marilyn and Stan were our tablemates on the 2012 Grand World, and have been our 10:00pm show lounge partners ever since. There was no show the first night, though, and it was just as well. I had some unpacking to do.

January 6, we were at sea, and I went to my desk in the atrium on Deck 3, surrounded by officers’ offices, and sometimes a bunch of tables for people to play games on. I cleared out the Rummykub, and made the desk my own. I saw a few of my people and connected them with others, based on interests, like scuba-diving. Others came to talk about and sign up for our tours. Al Vence and Linda Linthicum stopped by to say “Hello” and tell me which tours they were taking. I sprout wings and a halo every time I see these two. They met in my group on the 2014 Grand World, and got married last year. They look so happy.

I met with Rebecca Antuna, who is in charge of groups for Shorex. She was on last year’s world and we get along swimmingly. She will deliver all the tickets for me to control, which is much easier.

I got the cocktail invitation text and list to Willy and went back to the cabin to call everyone I had not seen yet. I had to leave a few messages, but I did either see or speak to most of them. Joanne Ward came to my cabin to return my call, and I have a haircut partner for Hong Kong. She’s perfect. She has great thick curly hair.

 

The entertainment was an all-singing, all-dancing production show called “Talk of the Town” and it was very good and nice to be back on the bench with Marilyn and Stan.

Still at sea, on January 7, I met with Mark and gave him some dates for a talk on HK. He looks like he will be easy to work with. I also met with Christel and found what to do to get my Koningsdam clients, Steve & Tricia Harrold, on to the Amsterdam for brunch the day they board in Civitavecchia. She also gave me the scoop on whom to deal with on IT matters. She is very fed up with the onboard Internet, herself

Then I went to my desk, where I adopted a couple of ladies who were traveling with their men, but not all the way around, and dispensed various bits of advice, business as usual.

The ship had a cocktail party at 7:00pm, so we went to that before dinner. The ship’s doctor was introduced as having graduated from McGill.  That was interesting in itself, as I don’t remember them naming the school other years.  I always knew our Med school was famous, of course.  Take a bow, Linda Snell.

The entertainment was “An Evening with the Finkels” at 10:00pm. Elliot Finkel is a wonderful concert pianist. We liked him so much last year we invited him to dinner. This year he brought his brother Ian, an excellent xylophone player, who in my opinion took up too much of the performance. I wanted to listen to Elliot. He also brought his 93-year old father, Fyvush, who has an Emmy, and can still belt out a great version of “If I were a rich man” from Fiddler. He played the role on Broadway for years.

Before I ever left my cabin, on January 8, I worked on my Cocktail Party Presentation. Since this is my fourth world cruise, I just had to tweak the old one and add the very good idea to ask everyone to state an interest, when they stood up.

I saw Tina in the Pinnacle to lay my hands on some seats for the Old Time Radio Show and Murder Mystery, which are another fun way to get some people together. I also booked the big table in the back for 14 on January 18.

Cocktail hour is upon us early when it is 4:30 in the afternoon. 56 out of 65 people attended and I later heard that at least 4 more would have come, had they been more organized. It’s easy to get caught up in other things on this ship. There is an awful lot to do. Henk and Gene came and gave little speeches, as did Joanne of Future Cruises.

Jan Yetke took great pictures for me. I will know everyone’s names very soon with all these. Everyone seemed to love introducing themselves and telling where they are from and what they are interested in doing this cruise.

The evening’s entertainment was Bobie Eakes, an excellent singer. We’d be happy to see her again.

Finally, on January 9, we docked in Puerto Limon (San Jose), Costa Rica . While Elvon was dressing I called Christel to work out a cabin problem. By the time I relayed our solution to the client, she could not get her husband to move, so, it’s moot, but she’s impressed with us.

Then Elvon and I went out for a nice little piggy breakfast in the Lido,where I happened to run into the doc and mentioned I had gone to McGill, too, and the usual ‘who do you know?” conversation ensued.  It turns out she interned under Linda, one of thousands, I suppose. She said Linda was brilliant.  I knew that.  She knew Wendy Sissons, too, not well, but said she referred many patients.  That’s no news either, but nice to hear.

After gym with Elvon, I went ashore with a weird little shopping list. I needed to replace my nice wooden candy dish, bought here in 2014, and left on the ship. It was still there in 2015, but someone had liberated it this year.   I wanted to replace my lost Swiss army pocket knife, Elvon had broken his razor, and I had already used up my Crazy Glue, fixing cheap blingy sandals. I also wanted to price and likely buy, Voltaren, the analgesic cream I now use on my sore neck. My US co-pay is $85/100 grams.

It’s a typical grubby third-world town, with no such thing as a department store, so that list had me walking all over town, following directions from one shop to the next. I got it all, though, a couple of rare wood bird mobiles for Lori Wear’s brand new twins, and a good, cheap pedicure.

I had a little deck time with Elvon, who had been there while I was out, dinner and more of the Finkels. Good stuff, that. We love, love, love having live entertainment every night.

Elvon’s days always include a few hours of deck time, as well as an hour in the gym, which we now do together, as well as dinner and a show. On January 10, the deck time was more stimulating, as it included the Panama Canal, with commentary. I had desk time, of course, and was still meeting people and signing them up for excursions.

We anchored off Fuerte Amador, which is on a peninsula near Panama City, early, around 6:00pm. There’s a hop-on, hop off bus from there that tours this large, modern looking city of skyscrapers. I am told it’s not so pretty up close and personal, and plan to hop on said conveyance tomorrow and find out. For now, I hopped a tender to reconnoiter

.

It was another shopping center, with a couple of restaurants, so that was a short trip. It needed to be, anyway, as I still had to dress both of us for dinner at eight. At the gate to the tender dock, there was a lady, who looked homeless, trying to talk her way on to the ship. She had tattoos down both arms, and a face that looked like she had had a hard life. We see the results of too much plastic surgery a lot on the ship, but this was different. I boarded the tender, as the crewmember at the gate called the ship. Next thing I knew, I was sitting across from the lady. She said she had not been allowed to board in Fort Lauderdale, because she had fluid on her lung and they wanted her briefly hospitalized and treated, in case it was contagious. Her husband had boarded anyway, as he is somewhat handicapped and does not do well at all on planes. She was very nice, and maybe belonged with us, after all. She had an excellent French pedicure on her toes. Henk and Christel were at the tender platform welcoming her home. That clinched it.

We had dinner and listened to Shirley Dominguez, an excellent harpist, with the most beautiful little harp you ever saw. It’s shiny, bright red, inset with Swarovsky crystals, and electronic, so it sounds like a big one. She’s fun to watch and listen to.

Fuerte Amador, Panama, January 11: I have a lot of trouble getting off the ship early now. Since Elvon rarely gets off, we have a big treat breakfast in the Lido, followed by an hour in the gym, before I can leave. The problem today was that the last tender would be at 3:30pm, and the hop-on, hop-off bus was a two hour circuit. Christel was on the tender with me around noon, with the same hope, but we both knew it wasn’t all that likely. I asked her about the lady who boarded last night and there’s quite a story there. It’s heartwarming, too. The tattoos cover serious burns she got when her house burned down, many years ago. She has had a lot of plastic surgery on her face and all over her body, and yes, periodic fluid on her lungs is just one ongoing problem. But, she’s determined to make lemonade out of what life hands her and her motto has to be “Carpe Diem”, like mine, because she and her husband are in the most expensive accommodation on the ship, a multi-million dollar penthouse, for four months. Good on her. I am an instant fan. I’ll be looking for her to befriend.

Barbara Haenni, the Location Guide, was boarding the tender as we disembarked, and told us we were out of luck as far as the hop-on, hop-off bus went, as the last one that would work had just left. Next time through here, I will make it a point to get off earlier.

We took the free shuttle to the mall, where the clothing was polyester and the WiFi, abysmal. When I got back to the ship, I was told the WiFi at the pier had been great. This really is a note for the next time.

The show was Phillip Huber and his Marionettes and he was fabulous. Google him, you can buy the doggie, strings and all.